Healing Hands
by anonymousgg
Summary: Steph and Ranger finally had their someday, but what will happen when he's sent out on one last mission? Will Steph ever have a lifetime of love? Beware of major angst to start, but I promise a HEA. BabeTart. not Cupcake or Mrs. Plum-friendly
1. Chapter 1

Steph's POV

I sighed and laid my head down on my desk, desperately exhausted and missing Ric more than I even knew it was possible to miss someone. He'd been in the wind for three weeks now, and I was burning the candle at both ends. There was a never-ending supply of paperwork, business decisions to be made, hiring, employee issues, and then when I called it a night, it was homework and quality time with Julie, mine and Ric's daughter. I sat back up and looked at the picture on the desk as I thought back to everything that had happened in the last year and a half.

When Ric and Tank went in the wind the last time, Joe and I broke up for good. I was a mess a first, but Bobby made it his personal mission to see to it that that I was well taken care of and not sulking alone in my apartment. Bobby helped me to work through my hang-ups over Joe's less-than-stellar influence on my life, and in the process had become one of my best friends. Ric and I finally got on the same page and started seeing each other when he and Tank returned home.

Ric and I had been seeing each other for several months after the inevitable end of my relationship with Joe Morelli. His ex-wife, Rachel, and her husband had passed away in a horrible car accident within a few months of Rick and I getting together, and Julie had immediately been uprooted to come live with her dad in Trenton. It had been a tough transition for the young teenaged girl, but the experience that she and I had shared with the Scrog incident had given us an odd kind of foundation for our relationship. I had immediately become a stable mother figure for Julie, and had helped her as she mourned the loss of her parents and dealt with all of the changes in her life.

When Julie moved to Trenton I began spending more and more time in the penthouse, and soon Julie convinced me to move in with her and Ric, claiming that she needed me around in order to balance out the excess of testosterone in the building. Unable to argue with that logic, I agreed. Within two days the Merry Men had packed up all of my worldly belongings possessions and moved me into the penthouse on seven.

Julie had stolen my heart when she bravely shot Scrog and saved her dad's life, and while I'd never felt any maternal instincts, I quickly came to love filling the roll of Julie's mom-by-choice. She was a remarkable young lady, and she and I had far more similarities than either of us had realized.

Life settled for all of the Manoso-Plum clan, and a few short months later Ric and Julie both proposed to me – one marriage, and one adoption. It was the sweetest moment I had ever been part of, and I was instantly reduced to tears when the man I loved more than life itself got down on one knee and uttered the words, "Marry me, Babe?" No sooner had I managed to croak out my enthusiastic yes amidst my sobs, Julie appeared next to my with a little blue box from Tiffany's. I looked at her questioningly and Julie smiled with watery eyes. I would never forget the speech that she made.

" _Steph, when my mom and Ron died I didn't think I would ever have anyone who filled that role in my life again. I still miss my mom every day, but you've become my second chance at a mom, and I love you so much. Will you adopt me?" Julie asked as she opened up the jewelry box. Inside was a beautiful silver necklace with a simple heart charm engraved with the word Mom. My sobs immediately turned into a flood of ugly tears, and I shook my head enthusiastically and enveloped Julie in my arms._

Ric and I had gotten married a month later on the beach at the house in Point Pleasant, and he'd called in favors to have Julie's adoption finalized at the same time. Tank and Les were his groomsmen, and Bobby and Lula were my bridesmaids. Ric, Julie and I walked back down the aisle amid cheers and celebration for the new Manoso family. Rather than jetting off to somewhere just the two of us for our honeymoon, we opted to take Julie to the Florida Keys for a week and then take a family trip to Disney World. It was the happiest I could ever remember being.

Ric was within a month of his contract to run black ops being completed when he got the phone call that both of us had been hoping wouldn't come – he was being called out one more time. I had wanted to fall apart, but he lovingly, but firmly, told me that he needed to be able to trust me to be strong and keep things going here at home so he could go do his job and come back safely. Bolstered by having something I could do, I threw myself even more into the training that I'd started months earlier and continued learning the business. We'd spent one week taking advantage of every quiet moment that we could sneak in together, and finally he had made love to me for the last time before tucking me into bed and slipping out to meet the helicopter that was being sent to take him off to parts unknown. Julie had shown up at my bedside shortly after, and we had held each other and cried until Bobby finally came up to check on us a bit later after he'd seen Ric off. He took one look at us, took his phone off of his belt, made a quick call, and then gathered us both into his arms and held us until we'd fallen asleep. During the three weeks that Ric had been gone, Bobby had been a godsend. He ensured that we were well taken care of and tried to keep us from overthinking things too much. Ric was my best friend, but Bobby was certainly a close second.

I was pulled out of my thoughts by the man himself standing in my doorway. He looked pointedly at the clock hanging on the wall of my office, which was actually Ric's office that I was using while he was away, and then smirked at me.

"Come on, workaholic. Ella just called to let me know that she sent dinner up to your apartment because Julie wanted some time with Uncle Bobby. It's time to call it a night," he commanded gently, brokering no room for argument from me. I shut down my computer, grabbed my phone and then walked to the door to head up to seven with him. "You look exhausted, Bomber. You need to get some rest."

"I try, Bobby, but...I just miss him so much," I whispered. "I'm not sleeping well, and even when I do sleep it doesn't feel like enough - I'm still exhausted. I don't know how I would get through this without you guys."

Bobby pressed the button for the elevator and then reached out and tugged on a curl that had fallen out of my ponytail. "You're doing a pretty damn good job yourself, Steph. The office is running smoothly, business is good, and Julie is doing well. You need to give yourself more credit," he corrected me. "We're just here to help lighten the load where we can and keep you guys safe. We must be doing our job well because you haven't blown up a car since you moved in," he teased.

I laughed for the first time in a couple of days and hit him. It probably hurt my hand worse than it hurt him. "It's amazing how many fewer people try to blow me up now that I'm not in the field anymore," I agreed as we stepped off of the elevator and turned toward the penthouse. "Of course, it doesn't hurt that no one wants to face the wrath of my husband either." We both laughed at that.

We walked into the penthouse and found Julie sitting at the kitchen bar finishing up her homework. "Hey, sweetie. How was your day?" I asked. Lester had picked her up from school today and brought her back to the building. They'd spent time in the gym working on Julie's self defense training. All of the Merry Men were like uncles to her, but Lester, Bobby, and Tank were the three she was closest to. She'd been extra clingy toward all three of them since Ranger had left on his mission.

"It was good, Mom. There's this dance coming up at school on Friday, and that guy I told you about asked me to go. Do you think I could?" she asked sweetly as she looked up at me with hopeful eyes.

My jaw dropped and I looked up at Bobby questioningly. "Uhh...why don't you let Uncle Bobby and I talk about that after you go to bed? I'm sure your dad has some rules and protocols for that situation, but I'm not sure what they are. I'll see what I can do that would make you both happy," I offered. She instantly flew into my arms and hugged me as she danced around.

"Thank you so much, Mom! I'll follow whatever rules I need to for everyone to feel comfortable, I promise!" she exclaimed excitedly. "I'll need a dress, and shoes, and can I wear a little bit of makeup, please?"

Bobby chuckled and pulled her into a hug. "Sit down and eat, Jules. I'll take you and Steph shopping tomorrow after school," he instructed with a laugh. That was one of Ric's requests before he left on his mission - he asked that Julie and I took one of the Merry Men with us when we went out so he would know that we were safe. I'd found that I didn't mind it so much now that I was friends with so many of the men. They'd even begun dressing in street clothes instead of their Rangeman fatigues unless they needed to be in intimidating body guard mode. The shift from feeling like I had a babysitter to feeling like I was out with friends had made all the difference for me.

Julie squealed again, excited for shopping with Uncle Bobby and going to the dance, and the three of us moved to the table to have dinner. Ella had spoiled me since Ric had been gone, and tonight was no exception. I hadn't been over to my parents' house for dinner in months because of my mom's very vocal disagreement over my relationship with Ric, and Ella had unofficially adopted me as a daughter and seen to it that I didn't feel like I had to sit through listening to my mother in order to get my favorite foods. Tonight, she had gone all out and made lasagna - that was even better than my mom's, I might add - along with steamed veggies and garlic bread. There was also a pineapple upside down cake sitting on the kitchen counter.

God, I love that woman. If I wasn't already married to Ric, I would lure her away from Louis and marry her myself.

Bobby started laughing, a full-out belly laugh, and shot me an amused look. "Didn't realize that you swung that way, Bomber," he teased.

"Out loud again?" I groaned. I really had to quit that.

"Yeah, out loud. Now, let's eat."

We dished out Ella's delicious food and listened to Julie talk about her day, the upcoming dance, and the guy who had asked her to go to the dance with him throughout dinner. I kept shifting uncomfortably in my chair while we were eating, doing more shifting my food around my plate than actually putting it in my mouth, and Bobby noticed.

"You okay there, Steph?" he asked when we'd finished eating.

"Yeah, just stiff and sore. I think I spent too much time sitting at my computer today and the lack of sleep is catching up with me, too. That and my stomach just feels...off," I answered while trying to massage the spot in my shoulder that was really bothering me.

"You go relax in the shower or bath and I'll look over Julie's homework and take care of the dishes. No arguments," he said sternly.

I nodded and thanked him with a hug before walking to mine and Ric's bedroom. I shut the door behind me and stripped on the way to the bathroom. I turned the water up as hot as I could stand it and let it beat down on my exhausted body. I'd been training hard and working long hours in order to help keep myself from thinking about what Ric was doing and where he was. Of course, I didn't have any details on either of those things, but that didn't stop my imagination from working overtime.

I washed, scrubbed, buffed, and exfoliated and then growled in frustration. I hadn't had an orgasm since Ric left, and I was more than on-edge. I took the trusty shower massager down and adjusted the spray to hit just the right spot, but several minutes later I was no closer to release than I was when I'd started. I collapsed to the floor and began sobbing uncontrollably. I wish I had a calendar or something that would tell me how much longer until he was home.

I heard Julie knock on the door and ask if I would tuck her in, and I quickly agreed and got out of the shower to pull myself together. My eyes were red and swollen and my nose was running, but I did the best I could and then walked past where Bobby was sitting on the couch into Julie's room. She clung to me tightly when I hugged her.

"He'll be back soon, Mom. He has to be," she assured me, and I began to cry again. Her dad was on a dangerous mission, and she was comforting me.

"I know, Jules. I just miss him," I whispered.

We said our nightly prayer to bring him back safe and sound and then I tucked her in and slipped out of her room. I had never considered myself to be religious but Julie had been raised Catholic, and when she moved to Trenton Ric and I continued taking her to mass. When Ric had left for his mission, I had gone to light a candle for his safe return and finally felt at peace.

I walked into the living room and Bobby instantly opened his arms to me. I sat down on his lap and snuggled into his warm chest.

"Come here, sweetheart. What's going on in that head of yours?" he asked.

"I just miss him so much, Bobby. I can't sleep without him, and I just wish I knew when he would be back." And that he hadn't ruined me for my damn shower massager, too. A woman has needs, and I might lose my mind from lack of sleep and sexual satisfaction.

Bobby busted out laughing again, and my cheeks instantly turned red and I buried my head in his shoulder in embarrassment.

"I can't believe I did that!" I whined.

"I can, and it's one of the things that we all love about you, Steph. Don't ever stop," he chuckled.

"It's always the embarrassing thoughts that I accidentally say out loud!" I pouted.

"Well, I can't help you with that last problem, but maybe I can help you with the sleep." He scooted me out of his lap and then grabbed the throw pillow and blanket from the side of the couch and placed the pillow on his lap. He pulled me down so that my head rested on the pillow and then covered me with the blanket. "You sleep. I'll be right here," he promised. We'd spent countless nights like this while Ric was in the wind after Joe and I had broken up, and I'd even fallen asleep like this several times when Ric was home and the core team was over at our place. I was immensely grateful that Ric was so comfortable with my friendship with Bobby and knew that it was purely platonic. He picked up the remote and turned on the television and then began running his fingers through my hair soothingly. I was out like a light in minutes.


	2. Chapter 2

Bobby's POV

Steph closed her eyes within minutes of getting situated with her head on my lap. She was exhausted and running on fumes, and I was determined to do whatever I could in order to help her get some good, restful sleep. She would stir every few minutes as I watched the nightly news; I would soothe her back to sleep again quickly in order to avoid her waking up. She seemed to be unable to sleep if she thought she was alone. If she kept this up she was going to crash and burn, and that would be devastating to Julie and the Rangeman crew. She was the glue that held us all together. She had made us all a family, and there was nothing that we wouldn't do for her.

Steph settled into a deep, peaceful sleep and I drifted off a couple of hours later. I'd certainly slept in much less comfortable situations while in the military and running ops; sleeping sitting up on a couch was no big deal.

I woke with a start when I felt Steph jump up and take off toward the bathroom like a bat out of hell. I could instantly tell something was wrong and followed her seconds later. When I walked into the bathroom, her head was hanging over the toilet and she was retching and getting sick. I fired off a quick text to Lester asking him to bring my medical bag up and then knelt down next to her and held her hair back and tried to soothe her.

"It's alright, Bomber. Lester's on the way up with my bag so I can check you out," I reassured her.

She looked up and glared at me. "That's not necessary, I've just got a stomach bug or something."

I shook my head and held in my chuckle. She looked like death warmed over and between her being so sick, how exhausted she'd been, and her not being able to sleep I was worried about her. I had a sneaking suspicion I might know what was going on, but I didn't want to say anything until we were sure.

"I'll be the judge of that. Ric will kick my ass when he gets home if something's wrong with you and I didn't do anything about it."

I heard the front door open and close followed by the sound of approaching boots. Tank Lester ran into the bathroom a few seconds later.

"What's going on, man?" Lester asked.

"It's Steph - I'm worried about her. She hasn't been sleeping well, she's exhausted, and she woke up this morning and started throwing up," I explained as she glared at me. Her glare was interrupted when she got sick again.

"I'll just...go wake Julie up and take care of getting her breakfast and off to school," Lester stuttered, backing out of the room. He'd never been good with people getting sick.

"Thanks, Les," Steph murmured as she wiped her mouth. "I think I'm okay now," she continued to Tank and me.

"Do you feel like moving to the bed so I can check you out, Bomber?" I asked.

Steph nodded and I scooped her up and sat her on the counter next to the sink so she could wash her face and brush her teeth. I knew that would help her feel better. A few minutes later, I carried her to the bed and laid her down.

"What exactly is going on?" Tank prompted.

Steph gave me the evil eye and crossed her arms over her chest, obviously still pouting because I'd said she was sick. I shook my head and turned to Tank.

"She bolted up from a dead sleep and ran for the bathroom and started getting sick. She also didn't eat much for dinner last night, at least for her appetite," I explained, and now the evil eye was coming from Tank.

"Do you make it a habit to sleep with the boss's wife?" he growled in a low, angry voice.

"It was nothing like that!" Steph exclaimed. "God, you guys are infuriating sometimes! You know that I love Ric more than anything and that there's nothing going on between Bobby and I. I haven't been sleeping well and was exhausted. Julie asked him to have dinner with us last night, and after I'd put her to bed I fell asleep on the couch with my head in his lap."

Tank looked at us both sheepishly and sighed. "You're right. I'm sorry, guys. I shouldn't take my past experiences out on the two of you," he apologized. Steph gave him a quizzical look and he continued. "My ex-fiancee - I came home from an assignment and found her in bed with another man." I knew this, but Steph didn't. She instantly reached out and pulled Tank down to her, hugging him fiercely.

"I'm so sorry that you went through that, Big Guy. That had to be horrible. Bobby and I are just really close friends, and I've fallen asleep like that when Ric was home, too. He trusts us; you should, too," she whispered.

"I do, Little Girl. Now, let's get you checked out."

I opened my medical bag and went into medic mode, checking her vitals and assessing her. "You're a bit dehydrated. I'd like to run some labs and keep you in bed this morning until I see what's going on. I'll put a rush on them so we get them back as quickly as possible. Can we do that?" I pleaded. We'd all learned a long time ago that it was always best to ask with Steph rather than order. She reacted much better that way.

She sighed and nodded her consent. I quickly drew blood and then ruffled her hair. "Tank, can you take this down and have one of the guys run it to the lab? I'll call Ella and see if she can bring breakfast up for all of us - something that will be easy on Bomber's stomach. I'd like to keep an eye on her until we get the results." Tank nodded and he and I bumped knuckles before he turned to leave. I called Ella quickly and then turned to Steph.

"You want breakfast in here or the dining room?" I asked her.

"Can we eat in the living room?" she asked quietly. She looked so damn weak and fragile, and it was killing me. I nodded and scooped her up into my arms to carry her to the other room. "Hey, I can walk!" she protested, but it lacked any real fire.

"I know you can, Bomber, but I need to feel like I'm doing everything that I can to keep you safe and healthy. Please don't fight me on this. It's the one thing Ric asked of me before he left - to take care of you and Julie until he got home," I pleaded.

Her eyes clouded with tears and she nodded as she wrapped her arms around my neck. "Alright, Bobby," she agreed.


	3. Chapter 3

Bobby's POV

Lester, Tank and I all sat in Ric and Steph's living room after breakfast and getting Julie to school, making casual conversation. She was once again asleep with her head in my lap. Poor girl was exhausted.

"How did we not see that something was wrong?" I asked, frustrated with the fact that obviously something was going on and we'd missed the signs until this morning.

"I don't really think we did. Sure, she was tired, but it wasn't anything concerning. She's been putting in a lot of hours with Ric gone, so I wasn't surprised. I don't think any of us would sleep well if it was our wife or girlfriend out there either," Tank defended.

"You're right," I begrudgingly agreed. I scrubbed my hands over my face and sighed - a habit I had no doubt picked up from Steph, along with rolling my eyes. "I just worry about her."

The silence was broken by a notification sound from my phone, and I quickly unlocked it and opened my email. I clicked on the lab report and began scanning through it. "She's definitely dehydrated, electrolytes are a bit low. No signs of infection. Red and white blood cell count are good," I read out to the guys as I scrolled through the labs. I scrolled a bit further and then stopped. I looked again to verify what I thought I was seeing and then smiled. My suspicion was correct.

"Everything okay, Brown?" Tank demanded.

I chuckled and nodded my head. "Yeah, she's fine. She's pregnant."

Tank and Lester both stared at me expectantly and I laughed at the expressions on their faces.

"Did you just say what I thought you said?" Lester asked.

"Yeah. Seems that Bomber and Ric are having a baby."

Tank shook his head and chuckled. "The three of us knuckleheads know before either of the parents," he joked. "Only Little Girl."

Lester and I joined in his laughing and apparently we were louder than we realized because Steph stirred and opened her baby blues. Her eyes slowly came into focus and she shifted so she was sitting up leaning into me and eyed us all wearily.

"Do you three want to tell me what's so funny?" she glared as she yawned and stretched.

"We just got your labs back, Bomber," I began and she interrupted me.

"Are medical test results always so funny?!" she snapped.

I held my hands up soothingly and shook my head. "No, not at all, Steph. We just thought it was ironic that we knew before you and Ric. It seems that the Manosos will soon be a family of four - you're pregnant," I explained.

Steph's eyes went comically wide and she gasped and covered her mouth. She sat stock still for a full minute. We all watched worriedly until she suddenly smiled at us all. "I'm...Ric and I are having a baby," she whispered in awe. "This is...I mean, wow...but how did it happen?" she rambled.

"Beautiful, do you need me to teach you about the birds and the bees?" Santos asked with a leer and an eyebrow waggle. "You see, when a man and a woman love each other very much -"

Steph shot him a look that would put fear into the hearts of terrorists and he instantly quieted. "No, I know HOW it happened. What I mean was we weren't trying. I'm on birth control," she replied with a blush.

"Well, Bomber, while the shot is highly effective, it's not 100%. I'm sorry," I apologized, feeling like I'd somehow let her down. I'd talked her into taking the shot shortly after she and Ric had gotten together. I knew how forgetful she could be, and I was concerned that might lead to an unplanned pregnancy. Now we had one anyway.

She frowned and wrapped her arms around me and kissed my cheek. "I'm not upset, Bobby; you have nothing to apologize for. I'm shocked, sure, but this is a good thing. Ric and I talked in that last week before he left, and we'd decided that we wanted to start trying when he got back. I was going to tell you before it was time for my next shot," she explained.

I breathed a sigh of relief and smiled at her. "He's going to be over-the-moon when he gets back, Bomber. Now, I'd like you to take it easy for the rest of the day and I'll get you an appointment with the best OB in Trenton. You're dehydrated, so I need you to drink a lot of fluids. Get some rest today and we'll see you down on five tomorrow," I instructed her.

She eyed me warily for a few seconds, but finally nodded and smiled. "I won't work today, but you promised that you would take Julie and I shopping for a dress for her dance Friday night. Can we still do that, please?" she asked, turning her big blue eyes on me pitifully.

Lester and Tank both looked up in shock, hoping for some kind of an explanation from one of us. "My niece is going to a dance?" Lester screeched. "With a boy?! What the hell?"

"She told us last night that the boy she likes asked her to go to the dance with him this Friday. Bobby and I talked about it some and we agreed that Rangeman would offer to provide security for the dance. That would allow us to keep eyes on her at all times," Steph explained. "She was so excited that I didn't have the heart to tell her no. We agreed that this was a solution that would make Ric feel comfortable and Julie happy."

Rangeman already provided security for the school, so it really wouldn't be a big deal for us to staff the dance as well. We knew the administration and they trusted us; hell, they would probably be grateful to have the security presence. "I'll go call them now," Tank agreed. We all nodded and he stood up and walked into Ric's home office to talk with the school.


	4. Chapter 4

Bobby's POV

The core team had spent most of the morning in Steph and Ric's apartment, leaving Ram and Cal in charge downstairs. Steph was starting to get really excited about being pregnant and was being an unusually good patient by ensuring she drank plenty of fluids and took it easy. She was already looking better after getting some good sleep and relaxing. We'd decided that Lester and I would take her to pick Julie up from school and then go dress shopping since Tank had client meetings scheduled for the afternoon.

"What sounds good for lunch, Bomber?" I asked as the clock neared noon.

"Will you guys take me to Pino's?" she asked, once again turning her pitiful look our way.

"Yeah, let me just call Ella to let her know she doesn't need to worry about your lunch and then we'll head out," I offered.

"Do you guys think Ric would be mad if I went ahead and told people?" Steph asked quietly. "Ella's like a mom to me, and Julie will figure it out quickly if I keep getting sick. It doesn't seem right to keep it from them."

Lester, Tank and I exchanged looks and then nodded. "You're right, Steph. You should let the guys know, too. They need to know what to watch out for and what your restrictions are for work. I know you don't go out in the field much, but you really shouldn't do anything that has the potential to harm you or the baby now. I think Ric would be fine with client visits and meetings, but he wouldn't want you on any takedowns," I explained, hoping she would agree with me.

She sat there quietly for a few seconds and then shrugged. "You're right, and honestly, I don't want to be in the field now. I haven't really since the wedding; I just figure that Julie has lost so much already that I shouldn't put my life in jeopardy."

Her answer surprised me, but also made me very happy. I reached out and tugged on her curls and tapped her nose. "Good thinking, Steph. Marrying Ric and adopting Julie has really helped you...well, you're more mature and reasonable," I explained sheepishly.

She started laughing uncontrollably and the guys and I all exchanged worried looks. "What is it, Beautiful?" Lester asked.

"All those years…" she said between giggles. She took a deep breath and wiped the tears from laughing so hard from her eyes. "All those years that Joe tried to threaten and coerce me into quitting my job and getting married and having kids and I couldn't do it. God knows he tried hard enough, especially with that stunt he pulled toward the end, but it sounded like the worst thing ever. And then Ric and I get together and suddenly I'm happily getting married and adopting Julie, coming to work here fulltime and staying out of the field. Joe tried everything he could think of to change me, but it didn't work. Ric just loved me and it made me want to change, for both of us."

"And I know he's very proud of you and grateful, Little Girl. He's going to be so damn excited when he gets back and finds out that you're pregnant," Tank replied with a smile.

"Can you ask Ella and Louis to come down before we leave so I can tell her the good news?" Steph asked. "And maybe the guys who are onsite today can all meet in the conference room for a few minutes, too?"

"Of course, Bomber. You go get ready and I'll take care of everything," I replied with a grin. She took off toward the bedroom and the guys and I looked at each other after the door closed behind her.

"Ric still making his check-ins?" I asked Lester. We usually got word each time he successfully made contact with the powers that be.

"Yeah, I just heard from them two days ago, so that's good news. Based on the timeline for the mission, I would expect he'll be home in two to three more weeks," he explained.

"Good. In the meantime, we need to do everything we can to take care of Bomber," I insisted. "Let's all help make sure that she eats well, drinks plenty of fluids, and gets rest. She'll obviously still want to work, but we need to make sure that she doesn't get too stressed. I'll call and get her a doctor's appointment so we can find out how far along she is. Tank, you call Ella."

Twenty minutes later, Steph walked out of the bedroom and Ella and Louis walked in the front door. They were Ric's aunt and uncle, and they ran the Haywood facility. They'd never been able to have kids of their own, but they treated each one of us like we were their children. "Are you feeling any better now, Steph?" Ella asked, obviously concerned after this morning.

Steph walked over to Ella and smiled. "I'm feeling better for the moment," she reassured Ella. "Bobby ran some labs and they came back a bit ago. It looks like you're going to have another little great niece or nephew running around, but I would really like it if you'd be honorary grandparents."

Ella's entire face lit up and she began crying happy tears. She wrapped Steph up in her arms and hugged her tightly. "Oh, my sweet girl! This is such exciting news!" she exclaimed. Louis wrapped his arms around the crying girls and added his congratulations.

"We would love nothing more," Louis said with a smile. "Anything at all you need, you just let us know."

Steph nodded and pulled away. "Bobby, Lester and I are going to Pino's for lunch and then we're going to take Julie shopping for a dress for a dance at her school. Could we maybe have chicken and noodles and homemade bread for dinner?" she asked. "And don't worry about dessert - sweets don't sound at all appetizing at the moment.

"Of course they don't, you're pregnant with Ric's baby," Lester joked.

"Of course, hija," Ella answered warmly. "I'll research foods that are good for morning sickness and pregnancy and make sure I keep them around. I'll also stock the pantry with some more easy-to-eat foods and drinks; I understand most women eat more frequently when they're pregnant. I can't believe that we get to be here for your pregnancy! We didn't get that with Julie!"

The two women hugged again and soon the guys and I were getting off the elevator on five. We walked into the conference room to find everyone gathered, talking among themselves quietly. They all looked up at Steph when we walked in, and I could see the question in their eyes. They all wanted to know if we'd called this impromptu meeting to share news about Ric. I guess I can see how they might think that. It's unheard of for all of us to take a morning away from work.

"It's good news," I quickly assured them, and suddenly the tension in the room was broken. The men all visibly relaxed and Steph took her place at the head of the table.

"I got some news this morning, and I wanted you all to be among the first to know. It looks like we'll have a new little Rangeman joining the ranks in a few months - Ric and I are having a baby!" she shared excitedly.

She was immediately swept up in a sea of hugs and congratulations. She had a special moment that she shared with each of us - no two were the same. It had become tradition her to meet us outside the elevator before we went out on a takedown. We would pass her down the line before heading out, each of us considering her our good luck charm. She would kiss Hector's teardrop tattoos, kiss her fingers and touch Cal's flaming skull, rub Tank's big bald head and hug him. She would stop in front of Ric last, and he would dip her and lay one hell of a kiss on her with us all cheering and wolf whistling around them. Then she would meet us all in the same place when we returned to make sure we were okay. The only thing missing today was the kiss from Ric. We all noticed and the room grew somber again.

"You know, I'd be more than happy to give you some Santos lovin', Beautiful," Lester offered with an exaggerated eyebrow waggle. I slapped him upside the head and everyone laughed.

"Hands off the boss's wife, Santos!" I growled.

The men slowly filtered out and soon we were on our way to Pino's. I noticed Steph tense and start wringing her hands and looked at her questioningly. "Something on your mind, Bomber?"

She looked up at me as though I'd startled her and shook her head. "No, not really. It's just...I haven't set foot in the Burg in months. Dad, Grandma, Mary Lou, and Lula come visit us at Rangeman or we meet somewhere less unpleasant for me. I don't know what to expect," she whispered.

I thought back and realized that she was right. The last time she ventured into Burg territory was before she and Ric got married. They had gone to her parents' house for dinner and her mom had said some horrible things that Steph swore she would never forgive, and frankly, I couldn't blame her. From that point on, those people who she wanted to keep in touch with from the Burg came to visit her at Rangeman, or met her somewhere that didn't hold such hostility and so many bad memories.

"You've got Lester and I both here with you," I reassured her. "Nobody's going to mess with you with us two by your side."

Steph snorted and rolled her eyes. "That's hilarious, Brown. Morelli didn't think twice about trying to get a dig in the last time we were in the area even though you were right next to me, did he?" she asked, and I sighed at that.

"I think that the conversation Tank had with him later that day will make him think twice about trying anything again, but either way, we'll be there with you," I insisted.

"Yeah, and it's my turn to rough someone up for you, Beautiful! It's no fair that you let the other guys have all the fun," Les whined dramatically.

I knew what he was doing, but it had the desired effect. Steph started laughing, instantly pulling her out of the bad place in her head. I would kill Morelli with my bare hands for what he had done to her if I thought Steph wouldn't hate me for it. That's one of the things we all loved about her - she had such a kind, compassionate heart. She was such a stark contrast to the rest of us. We all had dark souls that had been marred by such violence and unthinkable things we'd done in service to our country. Just having her in our lives made us all better people.

We pulled up to Pino's a few minutes later and Lester and I were both by her door before she could get her purse and jacket. We helped her out of the Explorer and flanked her on either side, trying to find the balance between making her feel protected but not smothered. It was a routine that Lester and I had mastered, thanks in no part to how close we were to Steph and how well he and I worked together in the field after years of having each other's backs.

We walked in and sandwiched Steph between us at a booth in the back where we all three could have our backs to the wall and a clear view of the door. We ordered a large pizza with everything and a couple of meatball subs to split and sat talking easily as we waited for our food. The place was mercifully empty of Burg busybodies who knew Steph, so we enjoyed the peace.

Steph tore into our food when it was brought to the table, her morning sickness apparently not a problem at the moment, and I laughed as I watched her.

"Didn't we just feed you this morning, Beautiful?" Les teased her.

"Bite me, Les," Steph snapped, but it lacked any real heat. "I hardly ate last night, and right now I feel good and I'm starving."

Les leaned over and kissed the top of her head. "You know I'm just teasing you, Steph. Eat all you want, we need you and the little one healthy and happy."

A shadow was cast over our table as Les finished and Joe Morelli looked down at the three of us with a sneer. "Ranger already get tired of you, Cupcake?" he spat. "I warned you that it wouldn't last."

I stood to my full, imposing height and glared at Joe. To my surprise, Steph was up and out of the booth before I could say a word.

"I swear, Joe, you turn around and walk away right now or I'll shoot you with my own gun!" she snapped.

"Please, we all know that you don't carry your gun. Besides, you could never shoot me, Cupcake. After everything we've shared?" Joe leered with a laugh.

Steph pulled the side of her shirt up slightly to show the obvious bulge of her Glock. "Two guns and a knife now, Joe. And before you ask, yes, they're both loaded. Want to see how good of a shot I am now?" she challenged.

Joe paled and then put on his blank face. "Carrying concealed, Steph? I could take you in," he postured.

"All those years of lecturing me about not carrying concealed and not once did you offer to help me get my permit. You should know as well as anyone that Ric would make sure his wife could carry legally," Steph corrected him. "Now, I suggest you go bother someone who actually wants you around."

Joe turned to walk off but was stopped by Steph's voice. "And Joe?" she asked sweetly. She continued when he turned around. "You and I may have a history, but none of it is something that I would be proud of if I were you. My husband is a real man; you're nothing more than a controlling asshole."

A small crowd had gathered around to see the confrontation, and Eddie and Carl each put a strong hand on Joe's shoulders and pulled him away after Steph's parting words. "That was stupid, man. You know she could have you brought up on charges," Carl could be heard saying as they walked away.

Les and I both exchanged worried glances and then looked down at Steph. Neither of us were sure what to expect from her after that spectacle. She watched Joe walk away for a minute and then turned back to the table. She bumped her hip into Lester and he sat back down again, quickly followed by Steph and then me.

"That asshole interrupted my lunch," she growled before tucking back into her sub. Les and I both laughed and dug in again, happy that she was handling Joe's antics well. Our girl had come a hell of a long way from that heartbreaking phone call I got when she and Joe had broken up, and I was proud of her.


	5. Chapter 5

Lester's POV

Steph had recovered well from the lunchtime excitement. We had finished our meal and then made the drive to Julie's school to sit down and talk with the administration regarding details for Friday night's dance. After we were all satisfied that we had a plan in place that would meet both the school's need to keep their students safe and our need to make sure that Julie was well looked after, we went back out to the SUV to wait for school to be out.

"You know I'm working the dance Friday night, right?" I asked Steph and Bobby.

"Well, I knew that Bobby and I were. I figured you'd have a date or something more pressing," Steph teased.

"I did have a date. I cancelled it," I deadpanned.

Steph's eyes shot up to mine in surprise. "The great Lester Santos turned down an opportunity to take some lovely lady to bed?" she teased. "What could be more important than that?"

"Making sure some punk ass kid doesn't think he can get in my niece's pants," he growled. "I know what Ric and I were like at that age; there's no way in hell I'm taking any chances with her."

Steph's face paled at that and I worried for a second that she might be feeling sick again. "Oh, god. I feel like I'm six years old in Morelli's garage all over again. Hell no!" Steph growled. "I'll kill any boy that comes near her."

"And you said you weren't sure that you were the motherly type," Bobby teased.

"Yeah well, I guess things change, unlike Trenton's biggest playboy," she teased as she shoved me playfully.

Julie came out a few minutes later, bounding with excitement over going dress shopping with her favorite uncles. We'd brought her a leftover slice of pizza and a Coke from Pino's, and she scarfed them down in between talking about what kind of dresses she wanted to look at and her friends' plans for Friday night. It had been decided that Steph and Bobby would accompany a group of her friends out to dinner and on the limo ride to the school before joining the rest of us on the inside to monitor things.

I steered the SUV toward Steph and Julie's favorite mall, and before I knew it we were surrounded by dresses and women. The place was packed and I could tell that Steph and Julie were getting frustrated by trying to get help to find Julie's size and a fitting room. I gave Bobby a quick glance to ensure he was aware I was walking away and found the closest sales associate. Ric had a great deal of respect in the community and his name usually got quick results. Just as I'd thought, the moment I'd let the associate know that Mrs. Manoso and her daughter were looking for a dress we had all been whisked back to a private shopping and dressing area.

Steph eyed me wearily when they took us back to the private area, but she soon softened when she saw how much Julie was loving having her own racks to browse and someone helping her. Two hours later, we had a dress that we could all agree on - uncles did, after all, get veto rights - along with shoes, a purse and jewelry picked out. Bobby distracted Steph while I paid for Julie's outfit, which Bobby, Tank and I had decided would be a gift from us, and soon we were back to Haywood.

"You guys want to come up and spend the evening with us?" Steph asked when we returned to the garage. "Julie and I would love your company for dinner, and she might have some questions for Bobby a bit later," she hinted.

Bobby and I both quickly agreed and after a quick check in on five to ensure everything was under control we followed the girls up to seven. Ella was waiting upstairs with dinner, and Julie immediately pulled her down the hall to her bedroom to show off her new dress and accessories for the dance.

"I'm going to tell Julie over dinner," Steph said quietly as soon as Julie was out of hearing distance. "I just...I don't want her to feel like she's going to be any less important to Ric and I. How do you think she'll take it?"

I immediately crossed to her and wrapped my arm around her shoulder. "She's going to be so excited, sweetheart" I encouraged her.

"And I know you well enough to know that you'll make sure that she still knows just how important she is to you both," Bobby agreed. "We'll all make sure that she still gets plenty of one-on-one time so she doesn't feel crowded out. While I'm thinking about it, I got you into the OB tomorrow at 1:00. I'd like to go with you if that's okay with you."

"Of course," Steph quickly agreed. "You want to hang around again for dinner? I mean, unless…" Steph's voice trailed off.

I looked at her quizzically and turned to face her. "Unless what, Steph?" I prodded. Something was obviously on her mind.

"Unless you have something better to do," she whispered. "You've spent almost every night with us since Ric left. I love having you around, but I don't want to be clingy. You might have a date or something...I don't want to keep you from your life."

I chuckled and hugged her close, making sure she could see the truth in my eyes. "I'm right where I want to be, so you just stop right there. I'm not interested in dating right now. I'm ready to settle down, and until I meet a girl who looks like she might be a possibility I'm not interested in dating. I have way more fun with you and Jules that I would out picking up girls with Santos," I joked at the end, trying to get a laugh out of her.

She giggled and laid her head on my chest, finally relaxing. "You'll find her, Bobby, when you least expect it. You won't even be looking, and suddenly you'll see her and you'll know. And she'll be lucky to have you." She kissed me on the cheek and then walked into the kitchen. "Now, Momma's hungry!" she joked.

Julie joined us in the kitchen a few minutes later, and about halfway through dinner she looked up at Steph and gave her the opening that she needed. "Mom, are you feeling better tonight? I was worried about you this morning," Julie said quietly. Poor girl had experienced too much loss in her life already.

"I'm great, my hija. I got some news this morning, actually - good news," Steph continued as Julie's eyes shot up. "Uncle Bobby's actually the one who figured it out. Your dad and I are having a baby, Jules."

Steph held her breath waiting for Julie's reaction, and the young girl didn't disappoint. She shot up out of her chair and flew into Steph's lap, hugging her tightly. "I'm going to be a big sister? This is the best news ever!" she squealed loudly. "Oh my gosh, can I be there when you tell Dad? He's going to be so happy!"

"Of course you can," Steph said with a giggle. "I can't wait until he gets home so we can tell him."

Julie turned her deep brown eyes - her father's eyes - toward me. "And everything's okay, Uncle Bobby? Mom and the baby are healthy?" she asked.

I put down my fork and nodded. "As far as I can tell from the labs I did this morning, everything is perfect. I'm going with her to the doctor tomorrow and will make sure that everything looks good. In fact, I'll probably go to all of her appointments with her, even after your dad gets back. A medic's work is never done," I joked.

"Thanks, Uncle Bobby! You're the best," Julie said as she moved to give me a hug. "Will you stay and watch a movie with us after dinner?"

"You know I can't turn my favorite girls down," I teased. "There's nowhere else I'd rather be." And it was true.


	6. Chapter 6

Steph's POV

I sat fidgeting nervously in the waiting room after Bobby and I had checked in at the OB's office. I was so desperate to hear that everything looked good with the baby and wished more than anything that Ric could be here with me.

"You okay there, sweetheart?" Bobby teased as I bounced my knee and rearranged myself in the chair once again. "Yeah, I'm just anxious. I hate doctors, and I really want everything to be okay," I whispered.

He wrapped his arm around my shoulders and kissed me on the forehead. "Everything's going to be fine, Steph. You're in great health and there are no signs that we should be worrying. Just take a deep breath and relax," he encouraged me. I nodded and laid my head down on his shoulder, willing myself to relax. A few minutes later the door opened.

"Mrs. Manoso?" came a kind voice.

"That's me," I answered as I stood. Bobby and I followed her into the back and after getting weighed, leaving a urine sample, and taking my vitals she left us in the room to wait for the doctor.

"You want me to step out while you change or turn around?" Bobby asked as he held up the paper gown for me.

"You can just turn around; I think you've seen it all at one point or another while treating me," I teased.

Bobby laughed and turned around for me to change, and soon I was sitting on the exam table kicking my feet anxiously. "You can turn back around," I whispered and he laughed when he saw me.

"You look like a kid, sitting there kicking your feet," he teased.

I stuck my tongue out at him and flipped him the bird. "Very mature there, Mom," he said with an eye roll.

Fortunately, the doctor saved us from any further immature teasing.

"Mrs. Manoso? I'm Dr. Myers. It's lovely to meet you. Is this your husband?" she asked, looking toward Bobby.

"No, this is my best friend and our company medic, Bobby Brown. My husband is currently serving overseas but should be home soon," I shared. Ric and I had decided that was what we would tell people who asked about him while he was gone.

"How nice to have such a good friend with medical experience! Well, first things first, congratulations. The urine test we did confirmed that you are indeed pregnant. I've looked over your medical history and don't see anything concerning. Do you have any questions before we do an exam and then try to get a look at the baby?" she asked. "That will give us a better idea of how far along you are and when you're due."

"No, no questions from me. You, Bobby?" I asked.

"Steph works in security and bond enforcement. She hasn't been in the field in a few months, but I'd like to know what restrictions she should observe with her work," Bobby said.

"Good thinking, Mr. Brown. This early in the pregnancy, we encourage moms to let their bodies guide their actions. I wouldn't want her in any potentially violent or stressful situations, but she's encouraged to be as physically active as possible. Many women in law enforcement go on desk duty around the fourth month, but if you have the option I would recommend doing so sooner. I know that can sometimes be difficult to negotiate with your boss, but I'm happy to provide written restrictions if you think that would help," Dr. Myers offered as she turned her attention to me.

"My husband is the boss; I'll be lucky if he doesn't wrap me in bubble wrap and lock me in a tower to keep me and the bambino safe the minute I tell him," I joked.

"Well, that certainly does make things easier," she said with a laugh. "First time parents?"

"No, my husband had a daughter in her first marriage, and I adopted her recently. He's just an overprotective, badass security expert," I replied with an eyeroll. "But he's my overprotective security badass, and I love him."

She laughed, and I knew immediately that I liked her. "Well, now that we've established that, any other questions?" she asked.

Neither Bobby nor I had any other questions for the moment, so she had me scoot down into the stirrups and draped the sheet over my legs to preserve my modesty in front of Bobby. The exam was over quickly and then she rolled over the ultrasound machine. The internal probe was a bit uncomfortable, but when I saw that little white blob on the screen I didn't even care about the discomfort.

"That's my baby?" I whispered with tears pooling in my eyes. I reached for Bobby's hand and he smiled down at me before looking back to the screen.

"That's your baby. I only see one, and based on my measurements you're around five weeks pregnant. That would put conception at three weeks ago," she offered and I nodded and smiled.

"The week before he left," I said softly. Bobby stroked my hand as he looked at the little screen in wonder.

"It's just a bit early to hear a heartbeat, but we'll definitely be able to next time. Everything looks perfect here. For now, just stay active, eat what sounds good to your body, take prenatals, and enjoy early pregnancy. Unless you have more questions, I'll see you in four weeks," Dr. Myers offered. She printed off pictures for us and then Bobby followed her out of the room so I could clean up and change in privacy. I emerged from the exam room a few minutes later and walked right into Bobby's arms.

"Ric and I are really having a baby," I whispered.

"You are, sweetheart. He's going to be so damn happy."


	7. Chapter 7

Tank's POV

My phone rang early Saturday morning, pulling me from my sleep. I'd been working almost non-stop with Ric being in the wind, and we'd pulled every available man, myself included, for security at Julie's dance last night. The night was a success as far as we were concerned. Julie had a great time and we had assured that Ric wouldn't want to strangle the boy she went with when he returned.

My phone fell silent and then immediately began ringing again. I rolled over and picked up the phone, unhappy that my morning was obviously going to be cut short.

"Talk," I growled, not even bothering to look at the caller ID.

"Tank? This is Matt Chandler, Captain Manoso's handler," I heard the tentative voice on the other end of the phone, and I immediately sat up. He never called to let us know that Ric had made his check-ins - it was just a coded message sent to us.

"Is everything okay?" I asked. I swear, my heart had stopped beating.

"I'm so sorry. He was caught in enemy fire when he went in for the capture and he didn't make it," Matt whispered. "I didn't think this was a phone call I would ever have to make."

I'd known Matt for quite some time - he'd been my handler, too - and I knew he would take this hard. He took great pride in watching out for his operatives. I was quiet for a full minute and finally heart his tentative voice again.

"Are you there still, Tank? I need to tell his wife, but I know instructions are to notify you first."

I felt the tears running down my face and swallowed hard. "Yeah, I'm here," I whispered. "This all feels like a nightmare. His wife - she just found out that she's pregnant. She is so damn excited, Matt. Now we have to tell her that he's not coming back." I choked out.

"What time do you want me there to tell her?" Matt asked quietly.

I shook my head and then realized that he couldn't see me. "Les, Bobby and I will tell her. She's going to fall apart." I was silent again as I thought about what was going on. "Damn it!" I roared, turning and hitting my pillow hard.

"Please let me know when I can come to thank Mrs. Manoso for her husband's service," Matt said quietly. "I know that you know the routine too well, but all of our resources are at your disposal. Anything at all that you need - you just name it. He had updated all of his paperwork with us, so she's taken care of."

"She's taken care of either way," I corrected him. "She's one of us; we won't let her down."

I hung up the phone and managed to type out an emergency text to Les and Bobby telling them that I needed to see them in my apartment ASAP. They walked in, both grumbling about being tired, as I walked out of the bathroom. One look at my somber face and they both got quiet. They'd seen this haunted look on my face before when we'd lost men in the field, and they instantly knew.

"Fuck. No, no, no. It can't be!" Les growled. He sunk to his knees in the middle of the living room, the look on his face practically begging me to tell him that he was wrong.

"I just got a call from Matt. He…" I choked back tears. "He got caught in enemy fire and didn't make it. I told him that we'd tell Steph."

Bobby sat down heavily and we were all silent for a few moments as we reflected on our fallen brother. Ric was the best of the best; he wasn't supposed to die out there. Little Girl, Julie, and the new baby all needed him here. After a bit longer, Bobby stood up.

"I'm going to go to the medical suite and get something that I can use to sedate Steph if needed. She's going to be inconsolable. Julie's not going to be much better. We can't leave them alone, but we also need to tell the guys and Ric's family," he began listing off. It was one of the things that made Bobby such a good medic - he was calm and methodical in the midst of the worst situations.

"I'll call the guys together and notify them after we've spent some time with Steph and Julie. Then Les can go tell the family," I offered. It seemed right since Ric's parents were his aunt and uncle.

Les and Bobby agreed, and then Bobby slipped out to his offices to gather what he needed to have on-hand in case Steph needed medical intervention to calm down after we wrecked her world with the news we had. I called Ella and asked her to leave a light breakfast for the girls along with some tea outside the penthouse and then waited in my apartment for Bobby to return. Les and I both stood there silently as we realized that Ric was really gone.

Bobby returned a few minutes later, and no one said a word as we went up to seven. It was early, and I knew Steph would still be asleep. I hated to wake her up, but we couldn't keep this from her for even a little while - we all knew how important honesty and not withholding information were to her. We let ourselves in with the fob and walked into her bedroom. She looked so damn peaceful lying there asleep, and I had to turn around and walk out of her room for a minute in order to get myself together. I felt like we were about to rip her whole world away from her, and I hated it.

I returned a few minutes later and nodded toward the guys. We all perched around her on the bed and then Bobby began stroking her hair. "Steph? Sweetheart, we need you to wake up," he whispered. She began stirring lightly and murmuring in her sleep as he continued trying to rouse her. She opened her eyes a bit and sat up quickly when she saw all three of us sitting there around her. Her eyes darted around to each of our faces and she turned pale.

"No. No, it can't be. Please tell me this is a nightmare," she begged.

Bobby gathered her into his lap and began rocking her as Les and I grabbed her hands.

"Little Girl, I'm so sorry. I just got the phone call," I choked out. "It is a nightmare, but it's really happening. Ric was shot during the capture, and he didn't make it," I whispered.

She sobbed openly and then began thrashing and hitting Bobby. Les and I went to grab her hands and he stopped us.

"It's okay, guys. Let her get it out," he whispered as her little fists continued pounding his chest.

"He promised me! He promised me that he would come back home to us!" she yelled. "Ric never breaks his promises!"

The commotion must have woke Julie because she stood in the doorway and fell down and began shaking as she sobbed. Tank quickly got up and picked her up. He carried her over to the bed and held her, whispering to her and rocking her as I did the same with Steph.

"I'm so sorry, Jules," Tank whispered. "Your dad loves you so much. I know this is hard, but we'll get you through this."

Steph and Julie suddenly clung to each other cried together as we all sat there and offered our support as best as could.

"Oh, god!" Steph cried out. "We have to tell the guys, and Ric's family. They're going to be heartbroken."

Our sweet, big-hearted Steph. She was in the depths of her own personal hell and was worried about the people around her.

"We'll take care of it, Beautiful," Les whispered. "We'll make sure they all know."

"No, I need to be there, too," she objected. "I promised him that I would be strong, and him not coming home doesn't change that. I have to do this, for him," she begged.

We all exchanged glances and then Bobby spoke up. "I'll let you be there to tell them, but you have to promise me that you'll let us take care of you. We have to make sure that you and the baby are okay; we can't lose one of you, too."

She nodded and hiccuped as she continued crying. "I'll do whatever you tell me to," she agreed. "I just need to feel like I'm doing something to help."

We all sat in her bedroom for quite a while that morning, mourning and giving each other comfort. We managed to get Steph and Julie to both eat a bit and finally she asked us to gather all the guys in he conference room and then call the Manosos and ask if they could come a bit later in the day.

 _A/N: Please don't shoot me. Or maim me. Or send hate mail. But you can feel free to leave your comments and reviews as long as you're not calling me horrible names. The next few chapters will be super heavy and angsty but I promise there will be a HEA._


	8. Chapter 8

Bobby's POV

My heart broke as Steph clung to me for dear life on the elevator. She'd put on a brave face and insisted on being the one to tell the crew of Ranger's death. Ella and Louis had come down to stay with Julie while the rest of us went downstairs for the looming meeting. Part of me – a huge, overwhelming part of me that I had to wrestle with in order to keep at bay – wanted to just give her the sedative that I had in my pocket and hold her while she rested peacefully. The bigger part of me knew that she would never forgive me for doing that to her. We were all in shock and mourning, but watching her and Julie was the hardest thing I'd ever done.

The elevator stopped on five and we all walked into conference room A with Tank in the front and Lester at our backs. Steph was still firmly settled into my arms and I feared that she would collapse if I moved away from her. We had called everyone in for this meeting, only leaving two contract workers on the monitors so we could have the entire crew here. We would have more contractors and employees from other offices who didn't know Ranger as well pouring into the office over the next 24 hours in order to take up the slack while we all mourned. We also had the leadership teams from our Miami and Boston offices on a videoconference so we could notify them at the same time. The moment we walked into the room, everyone went silent. There was no mistaking why we were here when you looked at Steph's face – she was very obviously a woman in mourning.

We walked to the front of the room surrounding Steph still and came to a rest at the head of the table. Lester moved to Steph's other side and slipped his arm around her shoulders while I wrapped mine tightly around her waist, holding her to me. Tank stepped up behind her and placed both of his hands on her shoulders, giving his silent support as well.

Steph's wild blue eyes, now rimmed with red, looked around the room at the men who were family and she choked back a sob. She turned toward me with fear and panic in her eyes. "I just…I can't say it. Can one of you?" she whispered, looking between the three of us.

Tank nodded at her and cleared his throat, obviously at a loss for words. "There's no easy or good way to say this, men. I got a call earlier this morning from Ranger's handler. He was caught in enemy fire and didn't make it," he choked out, barely managing to utter the words.

I looked at the men surrounding us and clearly saw the surprise and anguish that we were feeling expressed on their faces as well. One by one, the members of the Trenton team began stepping up to Stephanie and hugging her tightly, whispering their condolences and reassurances in her ear. She had made such a huge impact in all of our lives, and I think we all felt as though we needed to do something in order to help carry the pain she was feeling at the moment.

The men all lingered in the room as everyone continued to give Steph their support. Ram had hung back to the back of the line, and he had tears in his eyes when he approached Steph. Outside of the core team, he was closer to Steph than anyone else. They'd spent countless hours together on the gun range and in the gym when he'd made it his personal mission to ensure that she was properly trained, and they'd later been paired together in the field before Steph decided that field work wasn't for her anymore.

He reached forward and wrapped her sobbing form in his arms, whispering quietly in her ear as he held her. They embraced for quite some time before he moved her back between myself, Lester and Tank. Then he did something that none of us expected, something that touched us all so much that I didn't know how to react. He quickly stood at attention and then saluted Steph.

"Wife of a fallen officer on deck!" he barked out, and the rest of the men instantly fell into formation and saluted Steph as well. They were all still, their eyes trained on the grieving widow. His voice softened as he continued. "Mrs. Manoso, our deepest condolences on the loss of your husband. We're sorry for your loss. Thank you for allowing your husband to serve our country and lead this team on the field numerous times. We all mourn your loss with you."

Steph nodded and let out a strangled cry as the men broke formation and I picked her up and held her closely. "I'm going to get her back upstairs," I whispered to Les and Tank, and they both nodded.

Les's POV

I threw myself down into the closest chair as Bobby carried Steph out of the conference room and sighed. I'd seen some bad shit in my days in the military, but I'd never done anything harder than that. Tank sat down next to me and motioned to the guys, inviting them to sit if they wanted. Then he turned his attention to the Miami and Boston offices who were still on the videoconference.

"I've called in all the contract workers that we have. Anyone you can spare who didn't know Ranger well can be used to help cover things. Manuel, please coordinate to ensure that all of the offices are covered adequately and everyone who wishes to come for the funeral can do so. RangeMan will cover all travel expenses. Use the corporate jets. Any questions?" Tank asked the virtual presences.

"None. I'll ensure everything is taken care of; you just worry about Steph," Manny responded firmly. He was the head of our Miami office, and he had quickly fallen under Steph's spell the first time Ranger took her down with him. The video line went blank and the room was silent for a few minutes.

"What can we do to help Bomber?" Junior asked quietly.

I scrubbed my hands over my face and swallowed hard. "I wish I knew, man. It's going to be hard for a long time. The core team will be staying upstairs with her and Julie as long as we need to; we don't want to leave her alone. Just be available for her. She's been our heart and light for so long – now we need to return the favor. We'll keep the seventh floor accessible to any of you who wants to visit from 10:00 a.m. to 8:00 p.m. so you can come show your support in person. Whoever's on the front desk and phones needs to make sure that Mrs. Plum and Morelli can't get to her. The last thing she needs right now is their bull shit. I'm sure that there will be a lot that needs to be done over the next few days; we'll let you know as we know more," I finished.

The men all nodded as we sat there a bit longer, each of us lost in our own thoughts. I don't think any of us thought this would ever be Ric's fate. He had always seemed so untouchable and invincible to each of us.

"What about the flag?" Ram asked quietly. My eyes flooded with tears and I nodded once again. Ram stood up and left the room quietly and came back a few minutes later with a folded American flag in his hands. We all stood and moved as one toward the door to Ric's office. He had started the tradition in the early days of RangeMan when we'd lost our first employee who was out on a mission. Since that time, we'd done the same thing anytime one of our men died, whether while serving our country or the company.

Cal stepped forward and he and Ram unfolded the flag as we all watched on solemnly. The normally bustling place of business was eerily silent as we stood there in the hallway. Ram and Cal took the unfolded flag and hung it over Ranger's doorway. Then they stepped back in line with the rest of us and we all saluted our fallen commander. The crowd finally broke up a few minutes later just as my phone buzzed. I looked down to see a message from the front desk that Ric's parents had arrived and steeled myself for the coming task.

I ran the stairs up to seven with Tank hot on my heels as they sent Ricardo and Maria up in the elevator. We walked into the penthouse to see Steph curled up in Bobby's lap, staring off blankly. Julie was similarly curled up in Ella's arms. I walked over and knelt in front of Steph. I reached out to stroke her hair and ran my fingers down her cheek. "They're here, Beautiful," I whispered.

Her eyes shot up to meet mine and she nodded. "Can you let them in please, Tank?" she asked softly and he took off toward the door. He returned a minute later with Ricardo and Maria behind them and Maria stopped in her tracks and began sobbing the moment that she saw Steph's anguished face. Tio Ricardo wrapped his arms around Tia Maria and looked at me questioningly.

"I'm so sorry, Tio," I whispered, breaking down as I looked toward the grieving parents. "We just got the call this morning."

"Stephanie, mi hija, lo siento," Tio said softly. He led Tia over to the couch and sat down next to Steph, pulling her close with one arm as he held Maria and Julie with the other.

We all sat there wrapped up together as we mourned for the loss of a son, husband, father, nephew, cousin, and friend. Suddenly Steph reached out for Marie's hand and placed it against her still-flat belly. "Un bebé. Nuestro bebé," Steph whispered. She'd learned a good deal of Spanish over the time she and Ric had been together.

Maria's eyes shot up to Steph's and she smiled and pulled Steph into her arms. "¡Un bebe!" she exclaimed happily. "¡Esa es la major noticia!"

"I think he knew," Steph whispered. "He knew that we would need something good to cling to in the midst of our heartache."

Mi hija = my daughterLo siento = I'm sorryUn bebé. Nuestro bebé = A baby. Our baby.Esa es la major noticia – This is the best news


	9. Chapter 9

Stephanie's POV

I woke up the day of Ric's funeral with puffy eyes and a broken heart. I wasn't sure how I would survive saying a final goodbye to the love of my life today, but I did know that my Merry Men would be by my side taking care of Julie and me. They'd barely left my side since that horrible day that I found out Ric had died. Julie had slept with me every night since then, and Lester and Bobby had stayed with us as well. The first night they had planned to sleep on the couch, but when they'd heard Julie and me sobbing they'd come in and held us until we fell asleep. Les said we'd stirred and become distressed several times during the night, and so they'd finally just crawled in bed with us and stayed. Les and Julie were already close, and she seemed to find extra comfort in having her uncle as close as possible right now. Honestly, I was grateful that she found solace in Les; I was struggling to find any comfort myself and felt so completely broken that I often doubted I could offer her any peace at all. I tried so hard to give Julie everything she needed in order to mourn the loss of her dad, but I often felt as though there was nothing left for me to give.

I got out of bed and wondered into the kitchen for coffee. Bobby and Les were already up and dressed for the funeral, and Tank had joined them as well. They all looked at me questioningly when I walked in, probably trying to determine how I was handling things so far today.

"Coffee, Little Girl?" Tank asked as he held out my cup already prepared for me.

"I'd really like a hug first and then coffee," I whispered.

Tank gave me a sad smile and wrapped his arms around me, enveloping me in a feeling of safety and comfort. "We've got you, Steph," he whispered in my ear. I nodded and hugged him more tightly.

Julie joined us a few minutes later for a very quiet, subdued breakfast. We were all emotionally numb and drained, lost in our thoughts of what we would do today. Julie and I excused ourselves to get ready after we'd all eaten. I walked mechanically to mine and Ric's bedroom and stared unseeingly at my closet. Ella had placed a black dress and low heels on the rack for me in preparation for the funeral.

I walked out an hour later, as pulled together as I could get given the circumstances. It was ironic that I opted to forgo the mascara that usually made me brave; not even waterproof mascara could survive today. Julie was already in the living room, curled up in Les's lap. She looked so fragile and it broke my heart. I walked over and dropped a kiss on her head.

"I love you, Jules. We'll get through this together," I whispered. Having her here, knowing that I was her mom now, gave me motivation to keep putting one foot in front of the other. My pregnancy was still so new and there wasn't any visible evidence of the new life growing inside me right now. But still, the thought of my children - of mine and Ric's children - anchored me.

The guys fell in around Julie and I, surrounding us as we walked to the elevator and rode down to the garage. The elevator doors opened to reveal a black stretch limo. There was a line of fleet vehicles parked behind the limo, and I think every RangeMan employee I'd ever met was waiting next to the elevator. They hugged Julie and I, offering their condolences and help with anything we needed as well as hugs. As each one spoke the reality of my new life without Ric became even more real to me and I began sobbing. Bobby was instantly by my side, pulling me into his arms and offering me his strength and comfort.

"I don't know how to live without him," I whispered brokenly.

"None of us do, sweetheart, but we have each other. We'll all figure this out together. You know that you've got all of us here for you and Jules," he replied softly as he stroked my hair.

I nodded, choking on more sobs, and pulled back. We had to leave shortly in order to make it to the funeral and I desperately needed to pull myself together. I turned my attention toward my RangeMan family.

"Thank you all so much," I said, my voice shaky. "I don't know what I would do without all of you here to offer us your love and help. You all mean the world to Ric and me - you're our family by choice."

The guys nodded and slowly got into their SUVs as Tank, Bobby, and Les led us to the waiting limo. The drive to the church was utterly silent except for mine and Julie's constant sniffles. We arrived and I went to reach for the door handle, but Tank stopped me.

"The guys want to get out first, Little Girl," he said softly, and I nodded. I watched as all the men left their vehicles and formed two lines all the way up the steps of Sacred Heart Cathedral, leaving only enough room for us to pass through. Once they were all in place Bobby helped me from the limo and led me up the steps surrounded by the Merry Men. They were doing what they could to shield us from the media and busybodies who had gathered to attempt to catch a glimpse of the mourning family and the anti-war protestors.

We walked into the church and were instantly whisked away to a room where all the family would gather until it was time to be seated. I walked into the room and was immediately gathered into Ricardo's strong arms. I held on for dear life and buried my face in his suit-clad chest, unable to hold it together. Ric had obviously inherited his looks from his father, and to be here with Ricardo almost made me feel as though Ric was still alive.

"I've got you, sweet girl," he rumbled, his voice deep and raspy.

"Thank you," I whispered.

"Of course. You will always be our daughter; nothing will change that," he reassured me.

My dad and grandma walked in at that moment and I ran into his arms, clinging to him for dear life.

"We're here, Pumpkin. I'm so sorry," he said softly as he held me. Grandma Mazur surrounded me on the opposite side and wrapped her arms around me as well.

"We're here, Baby Granddaughter, and you don't have to worry about your horse's patoot of a mother showing up. We both made it clear what the consequences would be," she reassured me.

"And the crazy old bat has promised to be on her best behavior. She will not try to do anything with the casket," Dad said sternly, giving Grandma a serious look.

"Of course I won't. I wouldn't do that to Stephie," Grandma avowed, and somehow I believed her. She may be crazy and unpredictable, but she had always taken care of me.

I pulled myself together as much as I could and quietly accepted the condolences from the family gathered in the room until the funeral director came in and gathered us all together about an hour later. I took my place at the front of the line, at Ricardo and Maria's insistence, with Bobby and Les on either side of me. Julie was behind Les with Maria and Ricardo's arms wrapped around her, then it was Ric's siblings with their families and the Merry Men. I had insisted that they were family and should be part of the group and after much convincing they had agreed, probably mostly because it was so important to me.

The funeral director opened the door to the hallway and I gasped at what I saw. The hall was lined with uniformed members of every branch of the military standing at attention. It was so touching. I grasped Bobby and Les's hands tightly and willed my feet to move down the hall toward the waiting funeral where I would say goodbye to my love. I faltered at one point as I saw the unguarded respect and sympathy in the eyes of the service men and women and Bobby wrapped his arm around me and urged me forward.

The cathedral was filled beyond capacity with both civilians and uniformed men and women in the pews and standing in the aisles and recesses of the church. I was stunned by the crowd that had assembled to pay their respects to my husband. I knew that he was incredibly good at what he did and had served alongside of and impacted countless people, but I never would have thought this many people would be here.

I walked mechanically to the front of the church, trying desperately to remember to breathe. I felt a panic attack welling up and took big inhales in through my nose and blew them out my mouth. Bobby noticed my distress.

"You okay, sweetheart?" he asked, and I could see the concern written all over his face. What do you say to that when you're at your husband's funeral? I just went with a shrug and a grimace, hoping it accurately conveyed my current emotional and mental state.

I sighed in relief when we reached the front of the church and sat down in the front pew. I was desperate to be able to close my eyes and retreat to a quiet place for a moment, one where I could pretend Ric's body wasn't lying lifeless in the casket in front of me. Bobby wrapped his arm around my shoulders and kissed the top of my head and I buried my head in his chest, taking solace in my best friend. God, I don't think I could have made it even this far without him. He'd made sure that the baby and I stayed healthy and that I ate, he'd held me when I broke down every night, he'd gone with me to the OB and quietly explained the situation to the staff ahead of time in order to save me from having to tell them why the father wasn't there, and he'd continually assured me that someday it wouldn't hurt quite so badly. I knew that day was far away, but I longed for the day when I could say Ric's name without feeling as though I couldn't breathe.

The funeral service and eulogy were all a blur. The priest spoke of the afterlife and hope for being with Ric for eternity, but it all sounded like platitudes to my heartbroken ears, despite my newly-renewed faith. Before I knew it we were being ushered back out to the limo to travel to the cemetery. The Patriot Guard Riders were now providing shelter from the outside world, and I was grateful not to see those who wanted to capitalize on my loss.

We arrived at the cemetery and took our places, once again at the front. I sobbed and buried my head as the honor guard brought the casket to Ric's final resting place. I suddenly felt as though there was no oxygen and I was suffocating. I noticed Bobby and Les exchanging worried looks.

"Do we need to get you out of here, Beautiful?" Les whispered. I saw Bobby reaching in his pocket and fingering the sedative I knew he had. I shook my head no and took deep cleansing breaths. I had to pull it together enough to make it through the funeral. Once Ric had been buried Bobby could knock me out if he needed to. Maybe it would hurt less that way. Probably it wouldn't. I wasn't sure anything would ever be easy again.

I jumped when the cannon salute was fired after the chaplain finished the service. I then stood on shaky legs when they asked the family to rise for honors and clung more tightly to Les and Bobby with each shot, knowing that each one brought me closer to my final goodbye. Then the haunting sound of the bugler playing Taps drifted through the air, and I'd never felt more empty in my life. Finally we were seated and I watched motionless while the flag was meticulously folded. I fought my instinct to get up and run away as I was approached with the flag. I had vowed in sickness and in health 'til death do us part, but I was determined to still honor my promise to Ric and accept the symbol of our country.

The officer stopped in front of me and I almost couldn't handle the look of anguish in his eyes. Then I heard the words that every military spouse dreads most.

"On behalf of the President of the United States, the United States Army, and a grateful nation, please accept this flag as a symbol of our appreciation for your loved one's honorable and faithful service."

The flag was placed in my hands and I clung to it like a lifeline. I began to cry again, loud, racking sobs coming from deep within me, and started to shake. Bobby's eyes met mine and I saw the panic.

"The funeral is over now, sweetheart. I'm really worried about you. Can I please get you out of here?" he pleaded.

I nodded furiously, needing desperately to retreat to our home. "I just can't, Bobby. Make it go away, please. I just need to not feel for a little while," I begged.

He swept me up in his arms and carried me to the waiting limo with Les right behind him.

"Julie?" I asked frantically.

"She's riding back with Ricardo and Maria. We need to get you home, Beautiful," Les replied.

Les got in the limo first and then Bobby handed me in to him while he climbed in. He looked back and forth between me and Les as though he was trying to figure out what he should do.

"Just do it, Bobby. Please," I whispered.

He nodded and pulled the syringe out of his pocket. He cleaned my arm and injected me quickly and then rubbed my arm.

"We won't leave your side, sweetheart. Close your eyes and rest," were the last words I heard before my breathing evened out and darkness mercifully enveloped me.


	10. Chapter 10

_A/N: I'm not a big one on long author's notes but I wanted to respond to a consistent theme in reviews and decided to give you a bonus chapter as well. I know that there have been several stories where they thought Ranger was dead but he wasn't. This isn't one of those stories. Ranger really was KIA. I know it's heartbreaking - I'm a Ranger lover myself. I wanted to tell a different story though. That last chapter is what I consider to be the most emotional and hardest to read. Everything won't be peachy keen now but we'll see Steph work through things and slowly begin to heal and rebuild her life. Thank you for sticking with me this far. Please don't quit reading - I promise that there will be a HEA for Steph in this story. I'm not usually one to write something with heartbreak and angst, but this idea hooked me and I had to share it with you all. Please keep reading and reviewing - it makes my day!_

Bobby's POV

I watched as Steph fidgeted nervously in her chair, picking at invisible lint on her sweater every few minutes. We were in the conference room at RangeMan waiting for the attorney to arrive for the reading of the will. You might think this would be one of the less difficult parts of her losing Ric, but I knew our girl and she wasn't going to take this well. Most women would be thrilled to be inheriting so much, but Steph never cared about money and we all loved her for it. Anytime Ranger had tried to explain their wealth to her, she had shut him down immediately, insisting that she didn't marry him for his money and as long as they could live comfortably she didn't need to know. That was about to change.

Hunter Wallace, RangeMan's corporate attorney who also handled wills and private affairs for all of us, entered the room and sat down across from Steph.

"Steph, I'm so sorry," he began. " I tried to make it over to speak with you at the funeral. Ranger was a good man, and we'll all miss him. I know that you'll do everything in your power to continue his mission here at RangeMan."

Steph looked at him funny at this, but nodded politely.

"Now, for the reading of the will. The actual document that Ranger wants read is quite short, but there are lists of all holdings and assets as well. We're going to do this casually; I know you don't care for formalities or stuffiness."

Hunter cleared his throat and picked up the paper in front of him.

"I, Ricardo Carlos Manoso II, being of sound mind, do hereby will my worldly belongings as follows. To my daughter, Julie Manoso, I leave a trust fund set up in the amount of $10 million. The remainder of my wealth, including but not limited to cash and other monetary holdings, properties, and my stake in RangeMan, LLC I leave to my beloved wife, Stephanie Michelle Manoso."

Hunter put the paper down and looked at Steph. "He left a letter for you, Steph. Before I give it to you, he wanted me to go over what exactly you're inheriting. Is that okay?"

"Sure," Steph whispered mechanically. I could tell that her mind was running a million miles a minute trying to figure everything out.

"Very well," Hunter began. "Steph, Ranger left you cash on-hand totaling approximately $175 million. In addition, he left you various investments that total another $300 million."

Steph's jaw dropped and she started to object. I wrapped my arm around her and rubbed her shoulder. "Just breathe and let Hunter finish, sweetheart. Then you can ask questions or rant."

She nodded her assent and Hunter continued.

"You own a fifty-percent stake in RangeMan, LLC, with Tank, Bobby, and Les owning the remainder still. Then you have various properties that Ranger owns, including the house in Miami and one in Point Pleasant. Of course, he also left you all of his personal effects and vehicles. Now, if you'll read this letter I think it will answer all of your questions."

Hunter placed a sealed envelope in Steph's hand and we all stood to give her privacy to read the letter. She turned her watery eyes to me.

"Stay with me, please?" she whispered, and I nodded. The guys all filed out and I led her through the door that connected the conference room to Ric's office. I got her settled on the couch and then sat down next to her. She leaned into me instantly and I wrapped my arm around her.

She stared for long moments at the envelope in her hands and Ric's distinctive scrawl. I knew this would be very emotional for her and wished that there was something I could do in order to help her, but there wasn't.

She finally opened the envelope and pulled out the folded papers inside. She straightened them reverently, almost as though she was afraid to damage Ric's final words to her, and tucked her feet up under herself. She took a deep, shuddering breath and began reading.

Steph's POV

My hands shook as I began reading the words that Ric had written to me – the last words I would ever hear from my husband. My heart ached at the thought, and I had to fight the urge to run away to denial land. I rested my hand on my stomach and rubbed it softly as a reminder of what I had to stay and live for still. I had to do this.

 _My dearest Stephanie,_

 _Babe, if you're reading this letter then my worst fear has come true and I'm no longer with you. I'm so sorry for leaving you, querida. We were so close to having the rest of our lives free to love each other and add to our family, and I hate that a contract I signed before I even knew you has taken me away. I need you to know that leaving you there in our bed was the single hardest thing I've ever done in my life. Dreams of our future no doubt sustained me during my time in the wind; I'm so sorry that I'll not get to see them come to fruition._

 _Every single day with you has been more than I ever thought I could have, Babe, and I'm so thankful that you opened your heart to me despite my stupidity and lines about loving you in my own way. The truth of the matter is that I do love you in my own way, which is in every way. You brought light into my dark world and healed a part of me that had long been dead. I owe you my life, Steph._

 _As I write this letter and think about what would happen if I don't make it back from this mission, I'm grateful and at peace in knowing that you've adopted Julie and she's your daughter now. Thank you for loving her like she's your own. I trust you with her – to raise her, to guide her, to help her remember how much I love her. Thank you for giving me that peace of mind._

 _I know that you must be in shock after hearing what I've left you in my will. I tried many times to tell you, but ultimately I respected your wishes not to know. I am proud that I can ensure that you'll never again want for anything or have to mooch dinner from your parents. Taking care of you has been my priority from the day that I met you in that little diner. I'm sure you're overwhelmed and probably thinking about fighting this, but please don't. I worked hard, constantly putting myself in harm's way for years before I met you in order to become successful. When I fell in love with you, I learned that taking care of you and loving you was far more important than any business or financial success I could ever achieve. Let this be the last thing that I do for you, Babe, please._

 _Celebrate our love every day rather than focusing on losing me. Continue to live life your way and fly and know that I'm proud of you, Babe. Don't let anyone disrespect you or treat you any less than you deserve, especially your mother. She might have been right about me when she said that I would get killed and leave you alone, but that doesn't mean she's right about your value. With that being said, if she is remorseful and wants to have a relationship with you again please don't blame her for my death. She may have said she hoped I died in some God-forsaken land, but it's not her fault that I did._

 _I know you've said many times that if you lost me you wouldn't love again, but please Steph, don't close your heart off. We all love how open and loving you are, and I don't want to be responsible for denying the world and my brothers at RangeMan that love. Take the time to mourn us, but be open to finding love again. Slowly the hurt of my death will fade, and one day you'll open your eyes and realize that love has been in front of you the entire time. Embrace it, Babe, and know that you have my blessing._

 _I've asked my brothers – Tank, Bobby, Les, and all of the crew at RangeMan – to look out for you and watch over you in case I don't come back. Please let them. Before I get off this plane and go out on my mission, I need to have reassurance that you're cared for. I know you well enough to know that you think you're a burden to them, but you're not. They all argue over who gets to partner up with you and watch over you._

 _I love you, Babe, more than life itself. Know that I will always be with you in your heart. Te amo, siempre y por siempre._

 _Always yours,_

 _Ric_

I laid the papers on the coffee table in front of the couch and burrowed into Bobby's arms, desperate for some kind of reprieve from the pain I was feeling. Tears streamed down my cheeks endlessly as I wept for the loss of our someday. Bobby – God bless this man who continually held me while I fell apart and kept me standing when I felt like I couldn't go anymore – just wrapped his arms around me tighter and whispered reassurances in my ear.

"I know it hurts, sweetheart. Ric loved you so much. God, you should have heard him when he came home from meeting you in the diner that first day. He couldn't quit talking about the curly-haired brunette with the big blue eyes. I think he thought he was fooling us, but we all knew right then that he would fall for you. He walked into that room with Scrog to save your life; keep living the life that he was willing to sacrifice himself for, Steph," he whispered.


	11. Chapter 11

Lester's POV

Tank, Hunter and I stood outside Ric's office waiting for Steph and Bobby to come out. I knew she was in there reading the letter he'd left her, and he had talked with me before he left about some of what he wanted to say in it. I hoped that after this step she could start the long process of healing.

"You think she's going to be okay?" Hunter asked quietly.

"We'll all get her through it," I replied softly. "I don't think anyone has gotten the chance to tell you - she found out she was pregnant just before we got the news. I think the baby and Julie are the best things for her."

The elevator dinged and Julie walked out looking crazy.

"Where's Mom?" she asked frantically.

"She's in your dad's office with Bobby reading a letter. It will be okay, sobrina," I soothed, just assuming she was upset about Ric. I wrapped my arm around her and pulled her close.

"I know it will be okay, but I need to see her!" Julie exclaimed.

"She'll be out soon; you can hang out with us in the meantime," I offered.

"No, Uncle Les! It's important!" she practically screeched. Heads were starting to poke up over cubicles and a few guys were standing in the hall, obviously concerned about the state Julie was in.

"Whatever you need, I'll take care of it. Just tell me what it is," I said sternly. I wanted Beautiful to be able to focus on the letter and talk with Bobby about what it said.

"You want to know what it is?" she yelled, her arms flailing every which direction. She may not be Steph's biological daughter, but she certainly got that habit from Steph. "Fine, I'll tell you what it is! I became a woman today!"

The floor was quiet and I stared at her disbelievingly.

"You...what the fuck?! I'll kill the little shit who touched you!" I growled, my rage quickly taking over.

"What are you talking about?" Julie asked, giving me a quizzical look. "No one touched me - I started my period!"

I'm pretty sure I quit breathing, and Tank turned as white as I've ever seen a black man.

"You...I don't know what the hell to do with that," I wailed. "Why did you tell me that you started your period?! I don't want to know that!"

"Because you made me, Uncle Les!" Julie replied with a giggle.

"Shit. Let's get your mom," I groaned.

I knocked on the door to the office and entered with Julie behind me. Steph looked up and smiled when she saw Julie.

"Everything okay?" Steph asked.

"No, everything is not okay!" I practically yelled. "Julie got her period!"

"God, Uncle Les, did you have to yell so loud? I'm sure the whole building knows now! By the way, you said three swear words. That's $60," Julie demanded, holding her hand out to me for the cash. Ric had started this when Julie first moved in as an attempt to get us to watch our language around Julie. I growled and took my wallet out.

"I only have a hundred, " I said as I took the bill out. "You'll have to get me change."

She snatched the bill out of my hand and stuffed it in her pocket. "No can do, Uncle Les," she giggled.

Steph walked over and wrapped her arms around Julie, hugging her tightly. "Welcome to the sisterhood, Jules. Did you have everything you needed?" Steph asked.

I covered my ears and began humming out loud. "I don't need to hear this!" I sang loudly.

Steph laughed for the first time in days and Tank smacked me upside the head.

"Quit being a drama queen!" Steph admonished.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I just needed to tell you, Mom," Julie said amidst her giggles.

"Good. How about I take you to lunch to celebrate?" Steph asked Julie.

"That would be great, Mom."

"Hey, we want to come, too!" I whined. They both gave me funny looks.

"You want to come celebrate your niece turning into a woman?" Steph asked disbelievingly.

"Sure, why not? You guys in?" I asked, turning toward Bobby, Tank and Hunter. They had migrated their way into the room during the conversation.

"Sure, I'm in," Bobby agreed.

"Me, too," came Tank's deep voice. "Hunter?"

"No, I need to get back to the office, and I think this is a family thing," he chuckled. He then took an envelope out of the folder he was holding and handed it to Bobby. "This is for you, man. Ranger made me promise I'd get it to you."

Bobby nodded and took the envelope and then we all headed toward the elevators to leave for lunch while Hunter gathered his things to leave. For the first time since we got that damned phone call, I felt like there might be hope for laughter and happiness for us again.

Bobby's POV

I sighed and sunk down onto the couch in the penthouse. Steph and Julie were asleep in Steph's bed, and Les had gone downstairs to take a shower and tend to a few things before coming back up for the night. The girls would fall asleep without problems, but they woke up every night upset and needing comfort. Les and I didn't mind being there; I think somehow it helped both of us to know that we were doing something for them. Steph had given all of us so much, and we all wanted to be able to give back to her desperately.

I took a drink of my beer and then pulled the letter from Ric out of my pocket. I honestly couldn't fathom why he'd taken the time to write me a letter when no one else but Steph had gotten one. I took my knife out of my pocket and opened the envelope and then took the letter out and straightened it. I took another pull off of my beer and leaned back as I began to read.

 _Bobby,_

 _I'm sure that you're wondering why I took the time to write you a letter in case I didn't come back. I've relied on you all to help take care of Steph and Julie and I've always known that I could count on any of you to watch out for them as if they were your woman and daughter. I know you'll all continue that without me there, but I wanted to use this letter to tell you that I know._

 _I see the way you look at Steph; it's the same way that I look at her. I see the utter panic on your face when she gets into a scuffle with a skip or her car blows up; I know that feeling because I feel the same. I know that you haven't even considered settling down with a woman because you know that no one could ever be as amazing as my Babe. I know that you haven't even spent a night with a woman in two years. I know that you've loved her as long as I have, but out of respect for me you never said anything or made a move. Thank you for that. I know it wasn't easy on you._

 _Mourning my death and putting herself back together is going to be so hard for Stephanie. Thank you for being there for her as she works through everything. I don't even have to ask if you'll make sure she's okay - I know you'd never even think of leaving her to deal with it on her own. Help her to remember that it will get easier, that she will be happy again. Don't let her close herself off to love._

 _Show her that you love her by the way you take care of her and Julie. Be the one that she shares the good days and bad days with. Keep her close to you and love her well with your actions and support while she heals. Then one day, when she's ready, tell her how much you love her. She doesn't yet love you like you love her, but she cares for you and values your friendship so much. Let that grow into love and never let her go. You have my blessing, man to man._

 _I wrote her a letter as well and asked her to keep her heart open and find love again when she's ready. If she ever feels like she's somehow cheating or disrespecting my memory by moving on, remind her of the letter and show her this one as well._

 _Love her well and treasure her, Bobby._

 _Ric_

Fuck. I sighed and ran my hands through my hair. Of course I loved her, but I didn't think anyone else knew, especially not her husband. I took a deep breath and folded the letter back up, securing it inside the envelope and then placing it in the bottom of my medical bag. As I thought about what Ric had said I hoped that he was right and one day I would get to tell her how much I love her.


	12. Chapter 12

Steph's POV

"Mrs. Manoso?" the nurse said as she opened the door to the waiting room. Bobby and I were in for my next prenatal appointment. I was nine weeks pregnant now. The last four weeks since I'd been here were a blur of tears and mourning but also held some bright spots that gave me hope for the future.

"That's me," I answered quietly. I stood and walked toward the door with Bobby right behind me. We stopped for my weight and to give a urine sample and then were shown to a room to wait for the doctor.

"He should be here with me," I whispered with tears filling my eyes.

"I know, sweetheart." Bobby stood up and wrapped his arms around me. "I wish I could make him come back."

I nodded and buried my head in Bobby's chest. "Me, too. But I'm so glad that you're here with me. I couldn't have done any of this without you," I confessed quietly.

"You're not going to have do anything without me ever, Steph. You'll be tired of me and begging to me to leave you alone," he teased, and I laughed.

"Never gonna happen. I love you too much to tell you to go away. You're my best friend, after all! You'll be married with kids of your own and I'll still be bugging you," I joked.

"Thank goodness I don't have any interest in seeing anyone right now," Bobby joked back, and I smiled and relaxed a bit.

"Seriously, you're the best friend a girl could ask for. Thank you. I know I'm not the best about talking about my feelings, but I love you, Bobby," I said softly and then leaned up and kissed him on the cheek.

Bobby smiled and kissed my forehead. "And I love you too, sweetheart."

The doctor knocked and came in at that moment. She was happy with my weight gain and that my morning sickness had settled down. It seemed to be getting less frequent. We talked for a few minutes and then she and Bobby stepped out to let me take off my pants and panties and cover up with a sheet. They came back in a minute later and before I knew it my feet were in the stirrups and I was staring at my baby.

I gasped when I saw the image on the screen. The baby had just looked like a little jellybean at the last scan, but now I could clearly see the head, body, arms, and legs. It was incredible. I felt tears flooding my eyes and looked up to see Bobby's watery eyes. I reached over and grabbed his hand, so grateful to get to share this moment with him.

"That's incredible," I whispered.

"It is," Bobby agreed. "Thank you for letting me be here with you."

"You ready to hear the heartbeat?" Dr. Myers asked, and I nodded enthusiastically. She pressed a button and the room filled with a woosh woosh sound and a fast beating. "The wooshing sounds is your placenta. The fast beating is your baby's heartbeat. It sounds perfect," she explained with a warm, sincere smile.

"It's amazing," I whispered, the tears flowing freely now.

The doctor let us listen for a good minute and then printed out photos for us from the ultrasound. "Everything looks great. We'll need to see you back in another four weeks, but you can call the office if you have any problems. I know it seems early, but it's time to start thinking about birthing classes and whether you'd like to deliver at the hospital or birthing center. They'll give you information on both when you leave today, and we can talk about any questions you may have at your next visit. Any questions for me?"

We both shook our heads no and thanked her before she left the room. Bobby handed my pants to me and then turned around to allow me to get dressed.

"I'm finished," I said a few minutes later. Bobby turned back around and handed my purse to me. "Would you be my birth coach?" I asked before we got to the door. "I want you there when the baby's born, and I can't think of anyone other than Ric who does a better job of keeping me calm and centering me."

Bobby awarded me with a huge smile and nodded his head. "Just try and keep me away," he replied.

We walked to the check out desk to make my next appointment and get the information the doctor had referred to before leaving.

"Hungry? We could grab lunch before we go back to the office," Bobby offered.

"That sounds great. Maybe Chinese?" I asked.

We made the short drive to my favorite Chinese restaurant in a comfortable silence. I couldn't help but think about how drastically my life had changed in the last month. None of this was fathomable thirty days ago. Now I was a pregnant mother and a widow. Thank goodness for the Merry Men to get me through this. They had spent countless hours supporting and comforting Julie and me and cheering us up. We had a long road but we had an amazing RangeMan family supporting us.

Bobby and I enjoyed a nice, quiet lunch before returning to the office. The moment we pulled into the garage the door to the stairs flew open and it seemed like all the Merry Men came pouring out along with Julie.

"Well, Beautiful? What's the news?" Les asked excitedly when I'd gotten out of the car. This baby was already so loved.

"Everything looks perfect, and we got to hear the heartbeat. It was amazing!" I shared with them. I dug the pictures out of my purse and handed them over to their waiting hands. "Look, it even looks like a baby now! Only about ten weeks until we find out if it's a boy or a girl."

"Which do you want, Angel?" Cal asked.

I looked up with misty eyes and smiled. "I'd like a little Ric."

"Hooah!" came the response from the men.


	13. Chapter 13

"How are you doing this week, Stephanie?" Dr. Ellis asked after I'd taken a seat in her office. She was a highly-recommended grief therapist, and I'd been seeing her for a month now. I'd had an unprecedented emotional meltdown about four weeks after Ric had died and Bobby had finally talked me into seeing someone. After my first appointment with Dr. Ellis I'd decided that Julie also needed to talk to her and had made her available to the guys at the office. We were all struggling in dealing with Ric's death, but the sessions with her had helped immensely. I'd seen her three times a week at first to try to get myself into a better place and now I came weekly. Those first several appointments had been my lifeline. I was finally able to sleep without nightmares and needing to be calmed down in the middle of the night, and putting one foot in front of the other had gotten easier. I still missed Ric fiercely, but I was able to function without being overwhelmed with guilt now.

"I'm doing well, I think. I finally fully moved into Ric's old office and made it my own. It was hard to move things and change the name on the door, but I think it was good for me. I don't feel like I'm an intruder in his space or living with a ghost at the office now," I shared with her. I'd instantly felt comfortable with her and really looked forward to my sessions now.

"Good, that's wonderful progress. I'm so proud of you! I'm sure that was very emotional for you. You look well-rested and healthy. Still sleeping well?" Dr. Ellis asked.

"Yeah, the guys haven't had to spend the night with us in over a week now. I think we're all doing much better with things."

"Excellent. Now, I know this next step is going to be hard, but I think it's going to be good for you and also for Julie. I'd like for you to make a plan to clean Ric's personal belongings out of the closet, bedroom and bathroom. You don't have to get rid of them completely, but I'd like to see them packed up and stored away somewhere. You can of course choose a few things that are particularly sentimental for you to keep in the apartment. Then I'd like for you to make a few small changes to the apartment - maybe new curtains or drapes, new dishes, rearranging furniture, painting a wall. I want you to make the place feel a bit more like yours. Does this sound like something that you can do?"

I sat back and looked at her curiously. My first instinct was to refuse, but the more reasonable side of me saw the wisdom in her plan. It would hurt short term, but long term it would help me to heal and feel more at peace. "Can I have a few people help me? I don't feel like I could do it alone," I whispered.

"Of course, Stephanie. I wouldn't expect you to do this by yourself. Ask a few people who you're close to if they'll help you; if they were close to Ric it will likely help them as well. And I'll be available to you via cell if you need to talk at any point. If you'd prefer I could even arrange to be in the building," she finished with a blush. Ram had brought Julie to her first few appointments due to conflicts, and he and Dr. Ellis, or Amy, had hit it off. They'd been seeing each other since, and it wasn't unusual to see her in the building when Ram wasn't on duty. They were great together, and it was refreshing to see their happiness.

"I think that would probably be good," I agreed. "Will you be around tonight? I feel like the longer I wait to do this, the more I'm going to stress and the harder it's going to be emotionally."

"Yeah, Michael and I were planning to spend the evening at his place for dinner," she confirmed. It was still odd to hear Ram referred to by his first name; I don't think I'd ever heard it prior to Dr. Ellis using it.

"Alright, I guess I'll go talk with a few of the guys."

We finished our session by making my plan to deal with any emotions that were too difficult to manage and I was back at Haywood before I knew it. Julie had asked to spent two weeks in Newark with Ric's parents, and as much as I hated to admit it, it was a bit of a relief to have some time to myself. I loved spending time with her and wanted to ensure that I was there for her anytime she needed me, but I also needed some time to breathe and work on myself. Helping Julie to mourn while I was in mourning myself was without question the hardest thing I'd done in my life. I was grateful for the opportunity to take care of myself.

I got back just before the daily afternoon core team meeting and met the guys all in my office - I was forcing myself to refer to it as that rather than Ric's office.

"How'd today's session go, sweetheart?" Bobby asked when we'd all gotten situated.

"It was good. Amy wants me to pack up most of Ric's personal items and clothing and make a few small changes in the apartment to make it more mine. I was hoping you guys could help me start packing tonight?" I asked.

"You know I will," Bobby answered quickly, just as Tank and Les also voiced their support.

"Thanks, guys. I know you've done a lot for me over the last few months and I really appreciate it. I couldn't have even made it this far without you all," I said emotionally.

"You know we wouldn't be anywhere else, Little Girl. You're part of the family," Tank answered warmly.


	14. Chapter 14

Bobby's POV

I stood back and watched Steph working in the closet. She'd been completely silent since we began the process of helping her to pack Ric's things away for storage, and a quiet Steph was never a good thing. I could tell that she was hanging on by a thread, but I also knew that this would be good for her in the long run and was something that she needed to do. Any one of us would do this for her if we could spare her the pain, but unfortunately we couldn't.

"How do you think she's doing?" Les asked quietly as Tank walked into the closet to carry more of the clothes she'd set aside to be packed.

"I think it's just a matter of time until she has a breakdown," I whispered as I ran my hands through my hair in frustration. "Damn it, I just wish there was something I could do!"

"We're all doing everything that we possibly can, man. You know that," Les reminded me gently. "We can only do so much."

I nodded solemnly and walked into the bathroom to gather Ric's personal hygiene items just as Steph and Tank finished the closet. She walked into the bathroom behind me and sat down on the side of the bathtub just staring straight ahead as I worked. I finished boxing his things from the sink and then moved to the shower to grab his shower gel and shampoo.

"No!" Steph screamed in a panic. "No, you can't pack that. Please, no. I need to keep it – to keep him," she sobbed, and I quickly dropped what I was holding and sat on the floor in front of her. She was shaking and pale, and she instantly slid down into my lap and burrowed into my chest. I wrapped my arms around her tightly and kissed her forehead, desperate to do anything I could to calm her down.

"You can keep whatever you want, sweetheart. I'm sorry; I wasn't trying to take anything that's important to you," I whispered as I held her.

"His shower gel. It always made me feel safe and protected and loved. I used to love the way my bedroom in my old apartment smelled after he'd come to visit at night. It's the last thing that I have that makes me feel like he's still here," she whispered amidst her sobs, and I just held her tighter.

"You can keep it, I promise. You've done such a great job tonight. Do you want to stop for the night?" I offered.

She sniffled and nodded. "Yeah, I don't think I can do anymore right now. I want to talk with Amy."

I pulled my phone off of my belt and fired off a quick text to Ram asking him to send Amy up and then went back to rocking Steph back and forth when suddenly I noticed two sets of eyes watching us intently. I could see questions and realization dawning in their gazes and knew an uncomfortable conversation was coming.

I heard the door a few minutes later and then saw Amy walk into the room. "Do you want to sit in your bed so you'll be more comfortable, sweetheart?" I asked Steph softly.

"Please," she whispered. I stood and carried her to her bed while Les, Tank, and Amy were watching and then kissed her on the forehead.

"I'll shut the door on the way out, but we'll just be in the living room if you need anything," I told her gently. I followed Les and Tank out of the bedroom and shut the door behind us quietly and then looked up to see them both assessing me.

"Can we at least have a beer for this conversation?" I asked as I walked to the kitchen. I grabbed three bottles from the fridge since none of us were on call tonight, and then we all walked to the living room. I sat down on the couch and watched them both eye me warily.

"Out with it," I demanded tersely. I wasn't in the mood to have them look at me suspiciously or treat me like I was doing something wrong, because I wasn't.

"How long has this been doing on?" Tank ground out.

"Nothing's "going on", as you put it. Steph and I are just friends," I insisted.

"You were looking at her the same way that Ric did. How long have you loved her?" Les pressed. I sighed and took a pull off of my beer.

"For longer than I can remember," I confessed quietly. "But I promise you, there's nothing going on other than me trying to support my best friend in any way I can while she mourns the loss of her husband."

"And just what do you think is going to happen after she has mourned and is ready to move on?" Tank asked. I could see by the look on his face that he wasn't happy with this.

"Let me go get something from my apartment and I'll be right back," I said. I stood to leave and Tank physically blocked the way.

"Don't think for a second that you can disappear and this conversation will be over," he threatened, and I chuckled quietly.

"You should know me better than that. I just have something that will help to explain everything and might keep you from wanting to kill me slowly."

I stepped around Tank and walked to the door. "If Steph comes out while I'm gone tell her I'll be right back," I instructed before walking out the door. I took the stairs down to my apartment and retrieved the letter from the safe in my closet before running back up the stairs in hopes of getting out some of the aggression that I felt over being accused of doing something wrong. Tank and Les were both sitting there watching the door when I came back in. I walked back to my spot and sat down. I turned the letter over in my hands and looked up at the two men who were like brothers to me.

"When Hunter came for the reading of the will – do you remember him handing me a letter?" I asked, and they both nodded silently. "It was from Ric. I think maybe it will help to explain things." I took the letter out of the envelope and handed it over to Tank and Les. Tank opened it up and they both began to read it. I took another drink of my beer and sat back and watched their faces change as they read the words Ric had written. They both looked up at me several minutes later, and the tension level in the room had dropped drastically.

"Does that answer your questions?" I asked quietly. I didn't want to do anything to cause a rift between the three of us and needed them to understand.

"You really love her?" Les asked.

"More than anything," I confirmed. "Every word in there is true – I haven't dated or taken a women to bed in a long time because it felt like cheating on Steph, even though she was married to Ric at the time."

"And you'll treat her right if she wants to be with you sometime down the road?" Tank asked. "You two are already so close. You'll have to be committed way before you ever let her know how you feel; I don't think we could put her back together again if you started something with her and then walked away."

"I've been committed this whole time," I affirmed. "I know you two didn't understand why I suddenly decided not to sign another contract to run missions. It was because I didn't want to have to leave Steph behind, even just as her friend."

"And what about the kids? Are you ready to step up and help raise my niece and the baby if she chooses to be with you?" Les asked. "Because if you aren't, you need to step aside right now. There are several of us who would be more than willing. You're not the only one who cares for her."

I nodded and sat my beer down in front of me. "I know I'm not, and I make no assumptions about her returning my feelings at some point in the future. If she wants to share her life with someone else when she's ready to move on, I'll completely support her. And yes, I'm more than ready to help raise the kids if she'll let me. You guys know how much I love Julie already, and I'm going to all of her prenatal appointments and will be her birth coach. I'll be there for everything, even if I never get to tell her how I feel," I promised.

Les and Tank shared a look and then looked to me. "That's what we needed to hear. You have our support, but don't rush it. Let her mourn how she needs to," Tank said.

The door to Steph's bedroom opened at that minute and she walked out, her face red and her eyes puffy from crying. She came over and sat down in my lap and wrapped her arms around me as Amy walked out the door of the apartment.

"Amy thinks it would be good for me to get away for a few days while Julie's with the Manosos. Would you go with me to the beach house at Point Pleasant?" she asked me.

I looked at the guys and they both nodded. "Of course, sweetheart. You know I'll do anything that you need."

"I could come too if you'd like, Beautiful," Les said softly. If I didn't know him so well, I'd think he was trying to babysit me around Steph, but I knew that he really just wanted to make sure that she was okay. Hell, he needed the space and time away just as much – Ric was his cousin.

"That'd be great, Les," Steph whispered as her eyes closed and she drifted off to sleep.


	15. Chapter 15

Steph's POV

I woke up the next morning curled up in Bobby's safe arms. My nightmares had come back with a vengeance the previous night. I remembered waking up crying hysterically and Bobby rushing into my bedroom from where he'd been asleep on the couch. He calmed me down in the way that only he can and then tucked me into bed. When he'd gone to walk out of the room, I'd whispered a plea for him to stay with me and he'd instantly slid into the bed next to me. He and I had been close before, but he had become my rock through this whole ordeal. I needed him near me almost as much as I needed oxygen.

I rolled over and studied my best friend. It was so rare for him to sleep later than I did. He looked peaceful and relaxed, and I instantly worried that taking care of us was taking too much of a toll on him. He'd just lost one of his closest friends, too.

Bobby started to stir and opened his eyes to look at me. I hated the sorrow that I saw there.

"Good morning, Sweetheart. You ready to head to Point Pleasant?" he asked as he stood up and stretched.

"Yeah, I just need to pack. It won't take me too long," I answered.

"Alright, I'll go down to my apartment to shower and pack. I'll see you in about an hour? Then we can stop for breakfast on the way out of town."

"Sure, sounds great," I replied softly. My words felt empty and without hope. I was praying that the trip to the beach would help to lift my spirits.

Bobby walked over and kissed my forehead and then turned toward the door. "I'll see you in an hour. I'll let Les know, too. Make sure you pack your swimsuit; I think you could use some ocean therapy."

I walked into the bathroom and went through the motions of showering and getting ready mechanically. As much as I needed the time to myself to work through losing my husband, I really missed Julie. Even on the hard days, just having her close to me and knowing she needed me kept me going. I was looking forward to her coming back home soon; maybe I would invite Julie and the Manosos to the house in Point Pleasant this weekend.

I threw on some cutoff shorts and a tank top, put my hair up in a messy bun and then went into the closet to pack everything I would need for the getaway. I packed shorts, tanks, flip flops, sandals, bathing suits, and a couple of casual sun dresses in case we decided to go out for dinner. I moved to packing my makeup and hair products as well as some personal items then and soon was ready to go. I walked through the apartment ensuring that things were in order and dropped a grape into Rex's cage. Ella would look in on him while I was gone.

A knock pulled me from my thoughts and I answered the door to find Bobby and Les there waiting for me. "We're all loaded up other than your bags, Beautiful. We told Ella not to worry about driving over to stock the house. We'll grab groceries when we get there. You ready to go?" Les asked with a smile that made me feel like everything might eventually be okay.

"Yeah, let's go," I agreed. They grabbed my bags and before I knew it we were loaded into the beautiful navy Cayenne Ranger had bought me for my personal vehicle and were ready to go. I'd handed the keys off to Bobby, so I climbed into the backseat in the hopes of catching a nap on the drive; the first trimester of pregnancy was exhausting so far.

We went through the Tasty Pastry drive thru and after eating my donuts I curled up under a light blanket. I'm pretty sure the rhythmic movement of the SUV over the roads lulled me to sleep before we were ever outside Trenton, and I didn't wake up until we pulled up to the beach house. I stepped out of the car and inhaled the fresh, salty air. It instantly calmed me and made me feel more centered.

"You have a nice nap, Sweetheart?" Bobby asked me.

"Yeah, sorry about that. Pregnancy is exhausting, and I don't alway sleep well at night. I think maybe the change of scenery helped me to sleep better," I admitted.

"No need to apologize; I'm glad you could get some rest. Les is going to help me carry our bags in and then he's going to the grocery store while you and I relax on the beach. Sound good?"

"Sounds perfect. Thank you guys for this."

Les and Bobby carried our bags to our rooms, both stubbornly refusing to allow me to carry anything because I was pregnant. I didn't have any fight left in me, so I just plopped down on the couch and watched the waves lapping on the beach.

Les walked up to me and rubbed my shoulders. "I'm going to get some food. Anything specific that you want?" he asked me.

I shook my head. "No, you guys know my eating habits well enough. I trust you not to make it all twigs and bark," I teased.

Les threw his head back and laughed and my heart felt lighter. "I've got you, Beautiful. There will be no twigs and bark while we're here. Your bags are in your room; Bobby said he would meet you on the beach. I'll be back soon." Les bent down and kissed my head and then I heard the front door shut along with the sound of the lock tumbling.

I stood and made my way to the master bedroom. It was mercifully void of memories of Ric; we'd bought the house shortly before Julie came to live with us and hadn't had the opportunity to spend time here as a family yet. Part of me mourned the fact that we hadn't gotten that chance, but the other part of me was grateful not to be living in his shadow while we were here. My sorrow and pain felt less suffocating here, and for that I was immensely grateful.

I changed into my black bikini and looked at myself in the mirror. I didn't have a visible pregnant belly yet, but there were other changes to my body. My skin was glowing and my chest had filled out to a full cup size larger than it was before. My hips seemed to be a bit curvier as well.

"You ready, sweetheart?" I heard Bobby call from the house, and I turned away from the mirror and grabbed my hat, sunscreen, and sunglasses. The house sat right on our private beach, so there was no need for sandals or a towel.

"Yeah, I'm coming!" I answered. I walked toward the french doors that led to the beach and met Bobby.

"I have some water from the last time you all were here for the day. Les will bring some snacks out with him when he gets back."

I nodded and walked out to the beach with Bobby right next to me. It was a perfect late morning on the beach. It was just what I needed.


	16. Chapter 16

Steph's POV

I laid my hand over my pregnant belly and looked out my living room window. It was a beautiful snowy December afternoon, and I was in the home stretch of this nine-month incubation. So many things had changed in the last year. I honestly didn't know how I would go in when I lost Ric. It had taken months of therapy, grief counseling, and getting involved with other military widows in order to begin to heal, but I felt stronger than I ever had now. I had found a peace and purpose in raising Julie and staying healthy for my pregnancy.

The Merry Men had all been by my side, helping every step of the way, but Bobby had gone way above and beyond the call of duty. He'd held Julie and me when we'd cried, kept me moving forward one day at a time, and been there for every single doctor's appointment for my pregnancy. In losing Ric I'd learned that I could be my own rock, that I didn't need a man's strength in order to make it through the hard times. Instead of needing someone to hold me together, I had Bobby to support me and remind me that I was strong and could handle anything life threw my way with the help of my family.

One of the many changes was my relationship with my family. I'd always been close to Grandma Mazur and my dad, but my mom had also finally come around and we'd made peace with each other. She was initially insistent that I'd brought this on myself by marrying a thug – her words, not mine – but over time she saw that I was just a woman who loved her husband deeply and wouldn't trade the time that we had together in order to avoid the heartbreak of losing him. She finally apologized for always trying to change me and comparing me to Valerie and just let me be myself. It was weird at first, and I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop, but I'd eventually accepted it as our new normal.

Joe had started seeing a nurse from Trenton General, and he'd finally realized what I'd been telling him for a while – we just weren't good together. With that realization we'd been able to be civil to each other in public and had started building a health friendship. He and Erin were talking marriage and babies, and I'd even given him some input on the engagement ring when we ran into each other at Pino's.

It seemed that even in his death, Ric was watching out for me and taking care of me. All of these changes were things that I never really thought possible. I missed Ric more than I could put into words, but I no longer felt the deep, bone-shaking despair that I initially did when I heard his name or woke up alone in the middle of the night. Through my therapy and counseling, I'd learned to find comfort in the memories of our life together and be grateful for the way my husband had taken care of me even in his death.

Lula had asked me recently if I thought I would ever remarry or find someone to share my life with, and I honestly didn't know if I would. I was no longer closed off to the idea of an eventual relationship, but I wasn't ready to start one anytime soon. The truth was that I had people to share my life with – Ric's family, my family, the guys – and because of that I didn't feel empty or lonely.

Today all of those people who I love were coming together to celebrate the impending arrival of our son. That's right – I would have my little Ric running around here after all. I'll never forget the day when we found out that it was a boy.

I had finally hit twenty weeks along in my pregnancy and Bobby was taking me for my checkup and ultrasound. Thankfully, other than some minor morning sickness in the beginning, this pregnancy had been quite uneventful. I credit that mostly to Bobby constantly watching out for me, making sure I was eating right, and designing an exercise program in order to keep me in the best possible shape for my pregnancy.

The doctor went through all of the normal weight, urine sample, measuring, and questions, and then she pulled the ultrasound machine over to the exam table.

"Alright, Stephanie. We're going to get a good look at your little one today and take a lot of measurements and pictures. I should be able to see the gender during the ultrasound. Did you want to find out what you're having?" Dr. Myers asked.

"I think I'd like to find out privately. Could you just write it down on a slip of paper so I can do that?" I asked.

She assured me that she could and then showed us my growing baby. I couldn't believe how much the little one had changed since the last time I'd gotten a glance. Seeing that perfect little human made me realize just how much my life was about to change, but for once I wasn't scared by that thought.

We finished up at the doctor's office and walked out to my car. "I want to go to the cemetery," I whispered to Bobby.

"Of course, sweetheart. Do you want to drop me by Haywood or would you like me to call someone to come pick me up?" He was so great about not pushing me.

"Actually, I was hoping that you'd come with me. I'd like to find out the gender there with Ric, and I'd like for you to be there, too. I know you're not my husband or the father – hell, you're really my best friend – but I want to share it with you both."

"I would be honored, Steph."

We drove to the cemetery in silence. It had become somewhere I went when I felt like I needed to talk to Ric or feel close to him. We both got out of the car and walked up to the beautiful headstone that marked his final resting spot.

Ricardo Carlos Manoso IIIBeloved Husband, Father, Protector

I traced my fingers over the letters and began to ramble as I always do when I come here.

"I'm halfway through my pregnancy now, Ric. I can't help but think that you'd love to see my belly, round with our baby. I feel kicks and flutters now, and sometimes I imagine that the baby is just like you and is working out in there. We just left the doctor, and I wanted to be here to share this moment with you. You'll miss so many moments, and I hate that, but I know that you're watching over us." I stopped and pulled the envelope from the doctor out of my pocket.

"This is when we find out if this little one is a boy or a girl. I'll love our baby no matter what, but there's this huge part of me that wants a little you running around. I can't have you with me anymore, but I could have your son, your namesake."

I stopped and wiped away a few tears.

"Anyway, I guess it's time to look, huh?" I opened the envelope and handed the paper to Bobby. "Will you tell me?" I asked.

"Of course, sweetheart." He unfolded the paper and his face lit up when he read what was on it. I looked at him anxiously, unable to wait one more minute to know what this baby was. "It's a boy," he said softly, and I instantly started sobbing tears of joy and sorrow.

"It's a boy," I whispered. "We have a son, Ric."

Bobby put his arm around me and pulled me close to him, and I laid my head on his shoulder. "I know Ric is watching you and is so happy, Steph."

I just nodded my head, unable to speak. We stood there in the silence for several minutes. A boy. Ric and I had a son. "Ricardo Carlos Manoso IV," I finally said quietly. "We'll call him Carlos."

Mine and Ric's families had been over-the-moon excited to have a baby boy on the way. Everyone was overjoyed, but my dad was on cloud nine. He was finally getting his grandson, and he couldn't wait to take Carlos fishing and teach him how to play baseball and be a man that his father would be proud of.

I looked down at my watch and smiled. It was time to leave for the baby shower. There was no telling what to expect with this group I called my extended family, but I wouldn't trade them for anything.


	17. Chapter 17

Steph's POV

Bobby met me in the garage at the RangeMan office and helped me into the new Mercedes Benz GLC that the guys had talked me into buying last month. They'd insisted that the baby and I needed an SUV with the best crash test rating possible, and I'd finally come around to their way of thinking when I realized how important it was to them. I think they were all surprised when I traded in Ric's Cayenne for the new SUV. Honestly, I hadn't been sure that I could do it, but when I was standing there at the dealership I'd realized that trading in the old SUV didn't mean I loved Ric any less.

I sat back in the passenger seat while Bobby jogged around to the driver's side. I'd recently given up on driving if I could avoid it at all. You couldn't tell I was pregnant looking at me from behind, but my belly was all baby and made driving less than comfortable.

"You excited?" he asked as he buckled his seatbelt.

"Yeah, I really am," I replied with a smile. "It doesn't seem possible that my son will be born so soon. I feel like I have a million things that I still need to accomplish before he comes."

"You know I'll help you with anything that I can," Bobby reminded me. "I mean, I think it's pretty obvious that I'd do anything for you if I'd even help you find another place to live," he teased.

I'd told the guys two weeks ago that I felt like I needed to move out before Carlos was born. I loved being around all of the guys, but my little family was already bursting at the seams in the penthouse. Tank had immediately offered to move into an apartment on four and give me the entire seventh floor in order to keep me in the building, but I had reassured him that wasn't necessary. In all honesty, I felt like I needed to move out for me. I needed some sense of privacy and have my own personal space. I also felt like it was important for my healing that I live somewhere that wasn't Ric's. Julie had disagreed with me until we finally found the house that I'd put an offer in on and she fell in love with her room and the pool in the backyard. It was just about ten minutes from the office and the guys had insured me that they could secure it, so I'd made an offer. The owners accepted immediately and we were scheduled to close next week. It would be bittersweet but good for me.

"I'm not sure how we'll all function without you around all the time," Bobby joked further.

"I'll still work here, so you'll see me a lot!" I objected. "You know that I'm planning on coming back to work pretty quickly since I only work in the office now, and will be bringing Carlos with me to work. You'll get plenty of time with us. Besides, maybe if your needy best friend moves out, you'll start dating again." The guys might not realize it, but I knew that it had been a couple of years since Bobby had dated anyone. He was an amazing man that any woman would be lucky to have; he just needed to get back out there.

"You know you're the only woman for me," he shot back with a chuckle.

"I'm such a lucky girl!" I giggled.

We pulled into Pino's, where we had reserved the entire place for my baby shower. I had assured everyone that a shower wasn't necessary, but they seemed to be determined to celebrate and I'd finally caved. I much preferred this to some girly, frilly brunch with shower games.

"You ready for this?" Bobby asked as he took my hand and helped me out of the SUV. Some would say he's overprotective, but I thought it was nice that he was always looking out for me.

"Yeah, I am," I replied as I rubbed my belly.

We walked into the back room and I smiled and relaxed as I saw everyone who had supported me through the last eight months. Ric being deployed and then passing away had been so difficult, but I'd never once felt alone or unloved. These people were all my family, whether by blood or by choice. It was kind of funny to see the Merry Men sprinkled in with my parents, Grandma Mazur, Connie, Lula, and Mary Lou. Ric's family had also all come from Newark for the shower. They had been such strong, constant source of support and love for Julie and me, and I was beyond grateful for them.

"There you are, baby girl!" Grandma Mazur yelled from across the room, and suddenly all eyes were on me. I was instantly passed around the room for hugs and belly rubs until I was finally deposited in my seat where a meatball sub was already waiting on me.

"Thank you all for coming, everyone. I don't even know what to say except that I love you all," I said with misty eyes.

"And we love you! Now let's eat!" Bobby answered. He took his seat next to me and I leaned over and kissed him on the cheek.

"Thanks, Bobby. Just a little emotional," I whispered, and he winked at me and started serving up pizza to those around us.

"Steph, you look so amazing! I can't believe that you're almost through your pregnancy," Mary Lou said from her seat across from me.

"I don't feel amazing," I giggled as I looked down at my huge belly. "It seems crazy that the baby will be here before I know it."

"Are you ready for your move?" she asked.

"Yeah, I think so. The owners let us go ahead and paint and install a security system before closing with some additional negotiating in light of our full price cash offer, so it's all ready for us. I'm leaving the furniture that's in the penthouse there for the most part so we can stay there if needed. We close Monday at 10:00 in the morning, and the guys will meet the furniture delivery truck at noon. The movers will be there as well, and I think the Merry Men and Ella are looking forward to getting me all settled in."

"You're such a lucky lady! You have a whole crew of men to help you pack, move, and unpack," Mary Lou teased.

"They are pretty amazing. I think I'll keep them," I said, bumping Bobby's shoulder with mine.

"I think we're the lucky ones, sweetheart," he shot back, and I swear I blushed. Someone would snatch him up the second he gave any indication that he was available.

We finished our food with lively conversation all around the table and then settled in for presents. The pile was ridiculously huge and I knew I'd never get through them all, so I tasked Julie with helping to open gifts while my mom and sister wrote down who they had come from so I could ensure thank you notes went out promptly.

We had been opening gifts for what seemed like hours when I came to a large, oddly-shaped item with a card on it saying it was from Ricardo and Maria. I looked up at them and saw them watching expectantly, so I opened it and gasped. It was a beautiful wooden bassinet with a colorful handmade quilt in it.

"It's so beautiful," I whispered as I ran my hands over it.

"It was Ric's bassinet and quilt that he used when he was a baby; we know he would want you to have it for little Carlos," Maria replied with watery eyes.

Between my pregnancy hormones and the incredibly sentimental gift, I was doomed and just gave in and cried while the Manosos all hugged me and held me. When I finally settled down I looked up at all of them and whispered my gratitude.

"Of course, hija," replied Ricardo.

Thankfully Les's gift was up next, and he didn't disappoint. He'd somehow managed to get a little black RangeMan onesie and pair of cargos for Carlos along with a rattle in the shape of handcuffs and a little plush Glock.

"This is perfect! I can't wait until he can wear this!" I said with a laugh.

"Uncle Les will keep him supplied with uniforms!" Les yelled back, and I just smiled. I had amazing people in my life. Little Carlos had everything he could possibly need for the first few months of his life, but more than that, we had love and support.

After hours of celebrating, the Merry Men finally loaded everything into the SUVs they had driven to the shower and we drove back to Haywood. It had been a long day full of love and family.


	18. Chapter 18

Steph's POV

I sighed and sat down at my desk after I'd taken Julie to school and driven to the office. We'd moved three days ago, and while our material possessions were settled in their new home, I was not. I hadn't anticipated how much I would miss having all the guys around, but especially Bobby. It was strange to be alone for the first time in a couple of years, and I wasn't sleeping well. I must have laid my head down and drifted off to sleep at some point during the morning because the next thing I knew, Bobby was kneeling down next to me and running his hands through my hair.

"Huh?" I managed to get out. I'm eloquent when I'm exhausted.

"You feeling okay, sweetheart? You look exhausted," Bobby said, and I could see the concern in his eyes.

"Yeah, I just haven't been sleeping well," I tried to reassure him.

"Nightmares again?"

"No, nothing like that," I quickly told him. "I knew that it would be different when I moved away from you guys, but I didn't realize just how much it would affect me. I feel like I'm really alone for the first time in forever. I mean, Julie is obviously with me, and the baby will be shortly, but…I don't know how to explain it," I stammered.

"You want to have dinner with the guys at Short's tonight? I'm sure they'd all love to spend time with you, and it would help you feel better," Bobby offered.

"Dinner would be nice, but it's really you that I miss most," I whispered before my brain could catch up with my mouth.

Bobby's face lit up and he picked me up and carried me over to the couch and laid me down. He lifted my head, sat down and then put my head in his lap and began running his fingers through my hair.

"You know," he began, "I've been thinking about moving out of here, too. I would really love to be close to you, Julie and the baby, and if you were open to having your best friend there with you, I could rent a room from you."

My eyes snapped open to meet his and I saw the sincerity and excitement in his eyes. "Are you sure you'd want to do that? I mean, isn't it going to be weird to bring dates home to your best friend and her two kids?"

Bobby chuckled and tugged on a curl that had escaped from my ponytail. "Do you see me dating anyone?"

"Well, no, but surely you want to," I explained.

"I'm completely happy right now. And if I ever do decide that I'm ready to start dating, I'll need your approval because you're the most important person in my life," he reassured me. We were silent for a minute and then he continued. "You know, I haven't slept well this week either. This woman who I'm pretty fond of moved across town, and I wonder if she's okay or if she needs me all the time."

My face softened and I smiled up at my best friend. "You can move in, but only on one condition," I said sternly.

"Name it."

"You're not paying me rent," I insisted. "I want you there if you want to be there, but I don't need your money."

He looked at me for a long moment and then nodded. "Fine, but only because I know I can pay my way by helping to cook meals and do things around the house."

"That works for me," I answered as I yawned. "Move in as soon as you want to. You know which bedrooms are available."

"Get some rest, sweetheart. I'll be right here," he assured me.

Bobby's POV

Steph dropped off to sleep and I smiled as I watched her. I hadn't forgotten the letter from Ric, and I'd spent every day since we got that awful call taking care of Steph, Julie, and the baby, and showing her how much I care through my actions. I'd been heartbroken when she told me that she wanted to move out, but I knew it was something that she needed to do. I was beside myself trying to figure out how I could be there for her as much as possible, especially after the baby was born, without hovering or overstaying my welcome, and this was the perfect opportunity. She needed me as much as I needed her.

We had shared every moment of her pregnancy, and I couldn't imagine how to leave her alone with the baby after he was born. I wasn't Carlos's father, but I had promised myself that I would do everything in my power in order to love and support him and help Steph in any way she would let me even if our relationship never moved beyond what it is now.

I grabbed my phone off my belt and typed out a quick text to Tank and Les.

In Steph's office and she's asleep on the couch. Rough couple of nights after the move, so I'm staying here with her. I'm going to move in with her and Julie. If we can spare the guys to start packing my apartment that would help. I'll stay there tonight either way.

I hit send and knew without waiting for a response that a crew of the guys would have me all packed and ready to move before Steph ever woke up from her nap. I wasn't a man with a lot of material possessions, so it wouldn't take long at all. Then I could spend tonight where I belong – at home with Steph and Julie.


	19. Chapter 19

Steph's POV

I woke up Saturday morning well-rested and content. True to his promise, Bobby had moved in Thursday night and I'd instantly felt more at ease and comfortable in the house. He and I had cooked dinner along with Julie's help Thursday and Friday nights, and then played board games or watched movies. I felt more normal than I had since we got that awful phone call months ago, and I was so grateful.

Bobby was in the office today, and Maria and Ricardo had asked to take Julie for the weekend. I was at home waiting for Mary Lou to arrive for some girl time. We'd decided that a morning of breakfast and catching up was long overdue for us. Bobby had left some muffins in the warmer drawer for us - I'm sure chocked full of lots of veggies - and I'd made coffee and gotten out some orange juice. The doorbell rang just as I sat the coffee cups out and I quickly made my way over to let Mary Lou in.

"Hey, Steph! Your new place is beautiful. Can I have a tour?" she asked as she walked in and hugged me.

"Of course! You saw the outside," I began. It was a brick colonial with beautiful shuttered windows and lots of flowers and landscaping that I would definitely be paying someone else to maintain come spring. I pulled her through the entryway with vaulted ceilings and into the open family area. "Here's the living, dining, and kitchen. I love that it's all open."

"It's so airy and welcoming," she raved. The walls were a light grey and the entire back wall was floor-to-ceiling windows that looked out on the pool and huge backyard. I'd chosen an oversized darker grey sectional with some pops of color from throw pillows and blankets. Bobby had insisted on handling the electronics and had managed to keep it from looking like Best Buy had thrown up all over my living room. He and I had picked out a weathered wood entertainment center with sliding doors that fit the space perfectly.

In the dining room, I had chosen a huge table from the same wood as the entertainment center and mint green upholstered club chairs. The kitchen was packed with stainless steel appliances and the fridge and freezer that just looked like the cabinetry. All of the wood in the kitchen was a dark cherry with clean, modern lines, and the backsplash was grey subway tiles.

"Do you even know how to use this room?" Mary Lou teased as we walked into the kitchen.

"Hey, I'll have you know that I can cook several things well now!" I replied in mock outrage. I grabbed the muffins and brought them to the island as she poured our coffee and then we sat down together.

"That's the main living area. There are two guest bathrooms down here, and then the rest is upstairs. Up there, there's a master suite and an in-law's suite along with three other huge bedrooms. Julie chose one of the regular bedrooms because she loved the window seat and view of the pool. You can go poke around up there after we eat; my feet are swollen and I don't want to go up and down the stairs if I don't have to."

"Mmm...these muffins are amazing! How did you make them?" she asked after taking her first bite.

"I didn't. I just mentioned you coming over to Bobby and he kissed me on the forehead and told me he'd leave them in the warmer when he left for work this morning."

Mary Lou swallowed hard and looked at me like I had grown a second head. "When he left for work? Are you two shacking up?" she demanded

"What?! No! I really missed him after I moved and he really wants to be close to help with the baby so we decided he would move in here. In the in-law suite."

Mary Lou looked at me assessingly for a minute, seemingly having a conversation with herself, and then leveled me with a stern look. "You know I love you and only want what's best for you, right?"

"Of course," I assured her.

"Steph, sweetie...have you ever stopped to wonder why Bobby takes such good care of you?"

"We're close friends," I answered.

"And he's a great friend for you, but that's not the only reason. I've seen the way that man looks at you. He's in love with you, Steph."

I looked up and began stammering. "I know he loves me - hell, I love him too - but he's not in love with me! He can't be. He was one of Ric's closest friends. I just...he doesn't…" I trailed off.

Mary Lou reached over and rubbed my hand. "He does, sweetie. Maybe you need to talk to him about it."

"Why?" I whispered.

"Look, I know you only lost Ric seven months ago and you're probably not ready to jump into something new yet, but you two are already in a relationship. Sure, you don't kiss or have sex, but you do everything together. Talk to him and see what he says and then think about whether or not you might be open to something with him in the future."

Mary Lou left me alone to think a couple of hours later but my thoughts were jumbled. I plopped down on my sectional in my thinking position and sighed. Of course I cared for Bobby but I highly doubted that he was in love with me. He couldn't be, could he?

And what about me? I had come a long way since losing Ric and I felt like I was in a healthy place emotionally right now, but just thinking about someone else romantically felt like cheating on my late husband.

Bobby walked in and found me in the same position an hour later.

"You okay?" he asked when he saw me.

I looked up and studied him. Surely I would know if he was in love with me, right? I sat up and scooted over to give him some room. "Can we talk?" I whispered.

His face instantly got serious and he sat down next to me. "Of course, sweetheart. What's on your mind?"

I fidgeted in my seat for a minute and finally turned to face him. "Mary Lou suggested something today, and I just...I don't even know how to have this conversation," I said nervously.

Bobby reached over and took both of my hands in his and began stroking his thumb over them. "You know you can talk to me about anything."

"I know, it's just...weird. She said that you were in love with me," I blurted out.

Bobby's eyes got wide and he shook his head. My heart hurt in that moment, and it was completely unexpected. I hadn't even thought he might be in love with me until a few hours ago, but for some reason the fact that he wasn't hurt. I started to pull away and stand up, but he tightened his grip on me.

"Steph, sweetheart. I'm sorry that you found out that way. I didn't want to rush you or make you uncomfortable so I waited. I wish you could have heard it from me first. I've been in love with you for years," he said softly.

My eyes shot up and my jaw dropped open. How could I not know my best friend had been in love with me for years? Did Ric know?

"Why?" I asked. That was the only word my brain could come up with.

"Why do I love you? Because you're an amazing woman, Steph. I always knew that you and Ric would get on the same page and commit to each other at some point so I never said anything, but I've loved you almost since I met you."

I leaned over onto Bobby, trying to absorb some strength from him, and then quickly sat back up. I didn't even know how to act now that I knew he loved me. He must have noticed my discomfort and confusion because he reached over and slipped his arm around my shoulders, pulling me into his side in the process.

"Nothing about us has changed, Steph. Don't pull away from me now. I can live with you not returning my feelings or wanting to be with someone else, but I can't live without my best friend," he pleaded. "If all we ever are is friends, that's enough for me."

I finally relaxed into him and buried my head in his chest. We sat there in silence for several minutes as my mind swirled with thoughts. "I don't even know what to say, Bobby," I finally whispered a few minutes later. "Of course I love you, but I guess I've never really considered anything more. I mean, I was with Joe and then Ric and I got together. I know that I love spending time with you and I need you in my life. To be honest, just thinking about a romantic relationship feels like I'm cheating on Ric. I can't help but wonder what he would say if he knew."

Bobby's POV

I scrubbed my hands over my face and sighed. I wasn't sure whether to thank Mary Lou for bringing this up or try to ship her off to Siberia in a crate. Alright, Steph wouldn't like that at all, so I would never do it. Whether or not I wanted to, it was time to man up.

"If you'd really like to know what he would say I can show you," I offered quietly. Her eyes snapped up to meet mine and she looked at me questioningly.

"How?" she whispered.

"He left me a letter. Would you like to read it?" I asked. She nodded her head slowly. "I'll be right back."

I walked up to my room and pulled the letter Ric had written me out of the safe in my closet and then walked back to the living room. Steph was sitting there completely quiet, and I don't think she even realized that I had walked back into the room. I sat down next to her and placed the letter in her hands. She looked up at me and slowly back to the letter a couple of times.

"Go ahead, he told me I could show you," I encouraged her.

She opened the letter and began reading silently. She couldn't have been more than a few lines in when her eyes got watery and she took a deep shuddering breath. I leaned back on the couch and pulled her into my side again, hoping like hell she would still accept comfort from me. She read the letter intently, running her fingers over the words as though she could touch Ric again through them. She folded the letter up when she'd finished reading it and sat it down next to her on the couch.

"How could I have no idea when even Ric saw it?" she asked quietly.

"Sweetheart, I didn't want you to know - hell, I didn't want anyone to know. You and Ric belonged together. If I could go back and somehow save him on that mission so he could be here with you now I would, even though it would mean I would never have the opportunity to tell you how I feel."

"I'm not sure what to think about all of this. I think I just need some time to process everything and sort my feelings out," she said softly.

"Of course, sweetheart. There's no pressure or rush. I do hope you'll still let me show you how much I love you just like I have been."

"I think I'd like that. But what I really need right now is a nap. Being pregnant is exhausting," she said with a yawn.

"Do you want me to walk you up to your room?" I asked. The stairs weren't the easiest thing to deal with this late in her pregnancy.

"Can I sleep here on the couch? I just...I'd rather be close to you than alone."

"Anything you need," I promised her.


	20. Chapter 20

Steph's POV

"Bobby?" I whispered after I walked into his bedroom in the middle of a Thursday night a few weeks later. "Bobby? I think I'm in labor."

Ever the trained medic, his eyes shot open instantly and he began getting dressed as he asked questions. "How long have you thought you were in labor? Has your water broken? How far apart are your contractions?" he rattled off.

"Slow down, I think we have some time. I noticed pains in my back all day but didn't really think much of it. Tonight they've been really regular, though. Contractions are about twelve minutes apart, and my water hasn't broken. Les is already on his way over to stay with Julie, and I called Ric's parents to let them know." This was surreal. How was I the calm one and he was running around frantically trying to get dressed?

He suddenly stopped in front of me and looked at me worriedly. "Are you okay?" he whispered.

"I'm fine. The contractions aren't too bad yet and I'm feeling good," I reassured him. Another contraction hit at that moment and I consciously relaxed my body and closed my eyes as I breathed deeply. I reached up and laced my arms around his neck and he pulled me into him and rocked me back and forth as he rubbed my back soothingly.

"There you go, Steph. That's perfect, sweetheart. You're doing great," he whispered in my ear as I worked through the discomfort. "I've got you; you just relax."

My body immediately responded to Bobby's soothing voice and let go of the lingering tension and fear. I'd noticed increasingly since our talk a couple of weeks ago that I reacted to Bobby much like I'd always reacted to Ric. Being near him made me feel at peace and whole. Of course, I'd chosen to live a little longer in denial land and stopped my thoughts right there every time they started, too. Some things never change.

Bobby continued to hold me until the pain subsided and then quickly finished getting ready to leave. I tried desperately to think of anything other than how incomplete I felt when he moved away – how much more vulnerable and unable to do this. Fortunately, my thoughts were short-lived because the contractions began coming more frequently and between relaxing through the pain and making the drive to the hospital, there was no time for reflection on my reactions to my best friend. Who was also in love with me. I wonder if denial land has its own zip code?

Hours later, I was tired and emotional after working through much more intense contractions for what seemed like an eternity. I collapsed onto Bobby after a particularly strong pain ended and began crying.

"What is it, Sweetheart?" he asked.

"I'm scared," I whispered. "What if I can't safely give birth to this baby for some reason? What if I'm not a good mom? Will I know how to take care of this baby? And will he struggle because he will grow up without a father figure?"

"Whoa, stop right there," Bobby said sternly. "You can do this – you've labored so well, and we're getting close to the end. With your heart you'll be an amazing mom, so don't even worry about it. We'll figure out how to take care of the baby together. And as long as I'm around and with your permission, your baby will have a father figure. I never want to replace Ric in your life; I want to continue to take care of you and your family like he always did."

I was mercifully saved by yet another contraction, this one even more painful than any of the previous ones. I relaxed every muscle in my body one at a time, just like we'd practiced, while Bobby applied counter-pressure to my back and whispered to me encouragingly. I didn't hear his words, though. The sound of his voice soothed me, but I was suddenly unable to focus on anything but the big unknown dangling over my head. I'd been intentionally avoiding putting thought into our conversation and any potential future changes to our relationship since we'd talked, but suddenly it felt incredibly important to give it consideration.

He didn't want to replace Ric. He only wanted to love the kids and me. How could I not want that? I still missed Ric like hell, but that would never change. I wouldn't miss him any more than I already do if Bobby was in my life romantically. I couldn't picture my life without Bobby in it, and lately those visions of the future were shifting.

The contractions came one after another now, and I labored and pushed through exhaustion and pain until finally, mercifully, I heard the sweetest little cry. Bobby laid little Carlos on my chest a minute later and I got my first look at mine and Ric's son. He had gorgeous dark skin and black hair, and was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen.

"He's here," I whispered in awe.

"He's here. You did an amazing job, Steph," Bobby replied with a broad smile. "I'm so proud of you."

"He's perfect." I was counting his ten little fingers and toes and in awe of the little baby we'd made.

Hours later, after the baby had been examined in the nursery and everyone had come to visit and then left so I could get some rest, I drifted off to sleep while Bobby rocked Carlos. When I woke up, I couldn't help but overhear the conversation Bobby was having with my son.

"Your mom is amazing, kid. There's nothing she won't do for you. And your dad - your dad was the best of the best. I know he hated going into the field and leaving your mom and sister, but he had integrity and honored his commitment. He's not here with you, but I know he's proud of his son. I can't replace him - I don't want to - but I promise you that I'll love you and always be there for you, your sister, and your mom. The three of you will always be the most important people in my life."

Tears flowed freely from my eyes as I listened to this amazing man promise my son that he would always be there for him. Suddenly I realized that loving Bobby and allowing him into my life romantically wasn't disrespecting Ric; it was honoring his wishes by not closing myself off to love. It wouldn't bring me further from my late husband; it would be allowing him to take care of me even in death.

My crying must have gotten louder because Bobby suddenly turned around and looked at me in concern.

"Are you alright, sweetheart?" he asked as he crossed the room toward me. "Is something wrong?"

"No," I reassured him while shaking my head. "For the first time since Ric died, I think everything is going to be okay. I know I haven't really said anything about our conversation a couple of weeks ago, but I've been thinking about it."

"You don't have to say anything, Steph. It's okay," he tried to reassure me, but I cut him off.

"No, I need to say this. I'm going to need to take things at a pace I feel comfortable with, and I'm still going to have hard days, and I'm never going to stop loving Ric...but I want a life with you, Bobby."

A huge smile broke out on his face and he sat down next to me on the bed. "Are you saying what I think you're saying?" he asked.

"I am. I want you and me and these kiddos to be a family. I want our relationship to change and grow. I want to be with you."

"If we do this, it's for the long run," he warned.

"I wouldn't have it any other way. I want to commit to you. Life is too short to waste time. What do you say?"

"I say hell yes," he chuckled just as Carlos let out a small cry. "And I think this little guy is hungry. Can I help you get him situated?"

"Please."

Bobby and I got Carlos situated to nurse and then he settled down next to me again with his arm around me.

"Bobby?" I asked quietly a minute later.

"Yeah?"

"I do love you," I whispered.

"That's all I need. I've loved you forever."


	21. Epilogue

Epilogue

Steph's POV

"You're doing a great job, sweetheart. You've got this," Bobby reassured me as he ran his hands lovingly over my very pregnant belly. My head lolled back against his shoulder as the pain subsided and I threaded my fingers through his.

"This is so much better than the hospital," I panted as my breathing returned to normal. We'd elected to give birth to our third child in our home. We were currently sitting in a birthing pool, which had to be the best invention ever, and Ella was bustling around the house preparing things for the arrival. She and Bobby would help me bring our second daughter into the world. Julie was upstairs with Carlos, or CJ, as we liked to call him. Those two were inseparable; I think having CJ close made her feel like she still had a piece of Ric here with her.

"It's certainly more relaxed. You holding up okay?" he asked. He was the picture of a doting husband and father.

"Yeah, I'm alright. Do you ever think about the last time we did this?" I asked quietly. His arms moved up to massage my shoulders and he chuckled.

"All the time. That was the best day of my life, at least to that point. My life got so much better in that hospital room. It's been incredible since then."

I laughed and swatted at his leg. "I don't argue that our life together is incredible, but it hasn't all been a walk in the park," I reminded him.

"No, I suppose you're right there. We've certainly had our fair share of uphill battles. Remember when we told the rest of the RangeMan crew that we were together?"

I shuddered at the memory. I'd never seen that many angry bad asses in one place. "How could I forget? There was part of me that thought you weren't going to make it out of that room alive. Half of them thought you were disrespecting Ric's memory by being with me, and the other half were angry that they hadn't asked me out first."

"You still don't understand the effect you have on men," Bobby chuckled. "I think they would have gotten violent if Tank and Les weren't there to vouch for Ric's letter and blessing. That was nothing compared to Julie's reaction, though."

"Yeah, she definitely wasn't happy for quite some time," I agreed. Honestly, that was an understatement. Julie had been so hurt and angry that I could even consider moving on with Bobby. She felt like I must not have actually loved Ric and thought I was trying to replace him in my life. Things had gotten explosive in our home for several months, and she refused to talk to Bobby or be in the same room as him unless I made her.

A couple of months into our relationship, Bobby had gone out on a routine takedown with a RangeMan crew and I'd gotten a terrifying call a couple of hours later. Les was shaken as he told me that Bobby had taken an armor-piercing round to the chest. Ram was on his way to the house to drive me to the hospital while Bobby was fighting for his life. Julie had been right next to me when I got the call and must have overhead what Les told me. She sagged into my arms and sobbed hysterically, saying that she couldn't lose another dad. She'd stayed by Bobby's side with me, refusing to leave him until he was stable. They'd had a long talk before he came home from the hospital and she apologized for pushing him away and being so angry. The poor girl had been through so much trauma and didn't know how to deal with it all. She and Bobby started working on building a closer relationship then, and a few months later at Christmas she gave him adoption papers for both herself and Carlos. I'll never forget the look on his face when he opened his gift. I knew what it was – I'd helped Julie get the papers drawn up – and I knew he would love it, but even I couldn't have predicted his reaction. He swept Julie up into his arms and held onto her like she was his lifeline. I'd never seen Bobby so emotional.

I felt the beginnings of another contraction and relaxed my body. "I'll never forget that Christmas," I whispered. "Tell me the story?" Hearing his voice and reliving our happy memories helped me to relax.

"That was a pretty incredible day; it was the day that I got everything I wanted in life. I was so surprised when I saw the adoption papers. I'd wanted to broach the subject, but I didn't want to push or make her feel like I was trying to replace Ric. Do you remember what happened after that?" Bobby asked me, and I nodded silently as I worked through the contraction. "I got to do something that I'd wanted to do for a long time. I handed your Christmas present to you, and when you finished unwrapping it I was on my knee ready to pour out my heart. The only person more excited than us was Julie because she screamed out a "yes" before I could say a word."

I laughed as the contraction subsided and fell back into Bobby again. "That was funny. Did I ever really answer you?" I teased him. It had become a regular joke between us.

"I got all the answer I'll ever need from you when you walked down the beach toward me and said your vows," Bobby whispered as he nuzzled my neck. "I got to make you my wife and vowed to be a father to Julie and CJ that day. I'll never forget the way you looked when you walked toward me on your dad's arm."

"I never thought I'd get married a second time, much less a third," I joked.

"None of us did, sweetheart, but I'm so happy that we're here now."

"Me, too," I agreed. Bobby and I had been married a few months when I told him that I wanted to have another child with him. The words were barely out of my mouth before I was flat on my back underneath him. It had taken a few months, and I'd gotten pregnant when CJ was eighteen months old. Bobby had actually been the first to suspect that I was pregnant and had cajoled me into taking a pregnancy test to satisfy his curiosity. Fortunately, this pregnancy had been textbook easy.

The contractions began picking up in length and intensity, and before I knew it I was once again pushing with all my might to bring our child into the world. All of the toning and exercises Bobby had done with me must have worked because our daughter was born after only a dozen or so pushes. Bobby pulled her up out of the water and laid her on my chest. She was gorgeous with her dark skin and little wisps of dark hair. She was perfect. Bobby sank to his knees in front of me and looked at the little beauty in my arms.

"She's perfect, sweetheart. You did so well," he whispered reverently.

"We did well, Bobby. She's a little piece of both of us. There were days when I wondered if I would be anything f left but pieces of me, but you healed me by loving me."

"I do love you," he promised solemnly. "I think we healed each other." He stroked her cheek tenderly. "You, and Julie, and CJ, and now little Rose – you're my everything, forever."

"Forever," I echoed.


End file.
